50 Shades Of You: Why Sexts Are My Favorite Kind Of Literature
Once upon a time, I met a guy who made my heart race. He didn't have a white horse, but he did charm me in more ways than one.
He was smart, funny and interesting. But my favorite part about him was there was more to him than meets the eye.
As he and I got to know each other, we became more comfortable. Still, I was in for a surprise: As captivating as he was in person, he was a more amplified version of himself through the phone.
All of a sudden, his texting voice would have extra gusto, turning him into a demanding, assertive and evocative wordsmith.
I would sit back, read his words to me and cock my head to the side in complete and utter confusion. “Who the hell kidnapped the guy I met and replaced him with this guy?” I would think to myself.
And so began a new relationship: one with my lover's alter ego. It was refreshing, inspiring and titillating all at once.
Sexting is the modern love letter: It creates a new kind of space, one that unchains its participants from restraint in their romantic exchanges.
All of my girlfriends -- those in long-distance relationships and those who live with their boyfriends -- sext.
There's no right or wrong way to sext, and the more we do it, the more imaginative we become as readers and writers.
A sext conversation can be fictional or non-fictional.
The direction of your sexual adventure is entirely up to you; you can engage your lover by keeping your literary tale in the bedroom, or you can create a setting in a far away, mystical land.
The plot can include things you've already done to each other, or it can be centered around things you want to do to each other but haven't yet gotten around to doing
The possibilities are endless, and your story can take as many twists and turns as you'd like it to.
Sexting isn't time-sensitive and is easy to plan.
One of the things that makes sexting incredibly unique is you can do it at any time of the day.
You could be sitting at your work desk, harmlessly taking your lunch break and sexting away. Or you could be in bed, wrapped in a leopard Snuggie and eating macaroni while forming sex-a-licious sentences.
Whatever it is, you can schedule sexting into your life discreetly and successfully.
Words can be even more effective than pictures.
When we were little, picture books stroked our imaginations. Now that we're grown women, we need more than pictures in order to fantasize. (Just ask any one of my girlfriends whose ever received a dick pic).
The right words get our minds moving and our fingers typing.
You can be a main character or a supporting character.
There's more than one way to sext. As the author, you have the power to change the tone of your voice: The more painfully horny you are, the more vulgar you can become.
On the flip side, if you're not in the mood to take the reins, you can fulfill the submissive role. My good friend insists she loves receiving instructions because they leave her feeling validated but still in control.
You're no longer just a reader; you become an active reader.
There's a certain kind of beauty in being able to hide behind words.
I personally run into the problem of not being able to express myself as well in person as I can through storytelling, which is problematic because people only end up seeing one side of me.
But through sexting, we're allowed to be the rawest, realest versions of ourselves. We can dictate how lovers see us.
It provides endless entertainment.
Sexting is stimulating: Our eyes widen. Our heart rate goes up, and, much like when we read a good book, we just can't put our phone down in the middle of a heated sext session.
Unlike other literature, there are added perks. Even if you're physically far from your lover, you're never really far apart, and as storytellers, we can remind our lovers exactly why we miss them.
You can alternate between being the hero and the villain.
There's something about being able to send a bunch of colorful words that brings out my inner demon.
In real life, I have the tendency to be a painfully shy wallflower, but I find that I can be a total dominatrix when I play around with my words and feeling nothing but sweet release.
Because sexting is completely private and nonjudgmental, it's the perfect platform for you to be your naughtiest self.
Who says good girls can't be bad?
As each chapter begins and ends, you learn more about each other.
Our stories may have slow beginnings, but they don't take long to pick up the pace.
As we get to know people and their bodies, we inch closer to the climax. We shed our inhibitions and tap into our most primal selves, constantly leaving ourselves on the edge of our seats.
Unless, of course, the details of our stories are too exciting, making for an early climax (hey, it happens).
Finally, the end of one conversation doesn't signify the end of sexting; it only marks the beginning of the series.