'To Bone Or Not To Bone, That Is The Question': A Woman's Perspective

by Alice Panikian

As I was perusing the Elite Daily Dating section, I stumbled across Date Master Dan’s latest article titled, “The Playboy’s Playbook: To Bone Or Not To Bone, That Is The Question.” The topic pertains to the ongoing argument of whether or not waiting to have sex makes a difference in the success of a relationship.

According to the dating maestro, if a girl doesn’t sleep with him right away, he usually loses interest, but still follows through and seals the deal (after about three dates).

By then, however, since he’s completely lost interest and “hundreds of hard-earned smackaroos," he ends communication. Dan Master Dan’s advice to women: Don’t make him wait.

Okay. Where do I begin? Well firstly, I disagree with the author’s argument that how long you wait to sleep with someone affects the relationship because it really doesn’t.

You can sleep with a guy on the first date and wind up married to him; or you can wait two months to have sex with him and break up the next day. Every situation is unique.

Is it advisable to sleep with a man within the first few dates? Probably not. But again, there are no guarantees that waiting longer to have sex will increase your chances of having a successful dating experience.

What that period allows for, however, is the necessary time needed to really get to know someone. Use the initial stage of a relationship to gauge his intentions and determine whether he’s genuinely interested in getting to know you, or he just wants to “drop a load in your presence” (as DMD so eloquently put it).

Waiting to have sex will also instill in him all of the following:


-A sense that he’s earning something of great value

-The knowledge that you don’t just open your legs for anyone

-The assurance that you’re probably not a walking STD

-Positive anticipation

Alternatively, you may realize these qualities about him:

-He’s a stage-five clinger

-He has no manners

-He doesn’t believe in evolution

-His idea of a good time is watching reruns of “Real Housewives”

Anything is possible. The point is that the first few dates should be spent getting to know one another.

The beginning stage of any relationship is always the most exciting. Jumping to sex right off the bat would be like starting a good book at the climax.

If you start from the beginning, follow the plot, and understand the characters and overall theme, reaching the climax will be much more exciting and rewarding.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: No one wants to be given the stuffed animal at the carnival without winning the ring toss first. Being rewarded without earning the prize is not a gratifying feeling -- which brings me to my next point.

How do you “earn” a woman? Does it mean wining and dining her? No. Earning a woman means putting in effort to get to know her, all the while being considerate, respectful and patient! Money is not the way to earn a woman.

And while we are on the topic of money, Dan, there is NOTHING less attractive than a man who complains about money or harbors resentment for having to spend money on a woman. Some people may not agree with my opinion over the author’s, but frankly, I don’t care.

My lady boner just disappeared. If what you want is an equal financial partnership, which is COMPLETELY understandable, then you should date a girl willing to pick up the check. They do exist, believe it or not.

However, men need to accept the fact that some women prefer a more traditional role in a relationship; but these women should still always appreciate the gesture and say thank you.

Some women -- and men, for that matter -- believe (and accept) that it is the man’s responsibility to pay for meals, drinks, etc. Does it make her a gold digger? No. It might be cultural. It might be what she was raised to believe.

It might be what she's used to, or it might be what Cosmo told her to do. Is it fair? Maybe not, but neither is sleeping with a woman you have no interest in because you feel that she owes you for all the "crappy wine and overpriced tapas" you so selflessly spoiled her with.

If you’re going to view dating that way, you might as well use the money you’re spending to get yourself a hooker. At least that way you won’t have to fake conversation to witness a fake orgasm.

I can’t speak for all women, but I do believe that those who wait to have sex do it to protect themselves -- at least in part -- from men whose intentions are not honorable, aka the guy who wants only to bone you (i.e., Date Master Dan).

Dan, you sound resentful, pretentious and condescending -- not to mention, arrogant as all hell. I’m sure you’re a decent looking, somewhat charming guy who can fake a few key conversations since you’re actually getting laid.

However, lucky for you, you’re using an alias and what is likely a fake picture because you are cockblocking the sh*t out of yourself with the ignorant crap you spew. Being a self-declared “Date Master” doesn’t make you one. It’s obvious you still have a lot to learn.

Top Photo Courtesy: Tumblr