Why It's Impossible To Find Love After College

by Lauren Martin

After college, the dating pool significantly narrows. Even if you didn't find the love of your life in college, at least it felt like you had options. As you get older, it becomes harder to deal with the sad truth that finding the love of your life has just become a lot more difficult.

But why is it that it's so hard now? Why does it seems impossible to find someone that you can stand, let alone love? It's like there is no one good out there anymore. You keep meeting people with horrible taste, stupid ideas and just overall sh*tty qualities. Before, you used to worry about keeping love and now you're just worried about finding it.

Why is it that everyone just sucks now? Seriously, it feels like everyone out there is just a f*cking assh*le or dumb slut. But everyone out there can't be like that. There has to be good people out there. But why can't you meet them? Where are they?

You are not alone in your quest for the truth and many of us are just as confused and discouraged. None of us envisioned that we would be single in the most exciting time of our lives. But the sad reality has set in and as we get used to the single life, it's time to reflect on what has happened.

Because as we creep closer and closer to our thirties and seemingly further away from finding true love, we can't help but ask ourselves, why is it so difficult to meet someone you like?

You Look For What You Don’t Want

We have a long list of deal breakers and a very short list of defining qualities. All those little things: the pinky ring, the New Balances, the hair in weird places -- they're all nit-picky things that keep us from actually getting to know someone. Though there may be valid points in thinking a guy who wears a pinky ring may be weird, it's still something that's keeping you from getting to know him.

Availability Has Narrowed

Unlike college, everyone you meet isn't a potential date. There are more off limit areas. You don’t want to date people at your job, can’t meet anyone at bars and you no longer have time to meet your soul mate sitting in a cafe because you simply don't have the time. Work takes up a majority of your days and because you shouldn't date anyone at work, it's pretty much a dating catch 22.

You Are More Defined As A Person

As we get older, we begin to understand ourselves better. Suddenly our interests become narrowed and our likes and dislikes much more defined. We are becoming more of an individual as we are forced to stray from the crowd and create our own identity. This creates fewer mutual interests with the people at the bar and even more disinterest in people who have opposing views.

There Are Fewer Mutual Areas To Hang Out

These days, you must make dates if you want to get to know someone. You don’t just run into them at the college party where you can get drunk and get to know each other in the back room. It's more civilized and less boozy. This makes dating a lot harder because it's much more formal. People aren't as willing to put themselves out there and sit through an awkward and expensive dinner.

Everyone Has A Hidden Motive

Women want to get married and men want to f*ck. It's exhausting to find someone whom you can openly understand and with whom you can find a level playing field. These days whenever you talk to someone, you are both just trying to get through the bullsh*t to see if there is anything mutual between you both. Usually the conversation ends with both parties disappointed and alone.