Online dating is a relatively new way people are meeting one another and, of course, it provides certain benefits; as society pushes us to be our best selves at school and at work, finding the time to date can be really tough. Online dating is a quick and easy fix to the fundamental time management problems many of us battle. But does it deliver the same product that meeting someone organically does? When you meet someone — at school, the grocery store, the movie theater, the mall — it's exciting. It's unpredictable, and it's spontaneous. When you meet someone with whom you share mutual friends, it feels fantastic. Meeting someone unexpectedly and experiencing that initial wave of attraction is truly irreplaceable.
Habitually scrolling through Tinder is not productive if a serious dating situation is something in which you're interested. More traditional online dating sites, like Match.com and eHarmony, allow you to build a profile, which provides the opportunity to communicate information about yourself beyond a profile photo. But, many people create profiles that are boring or totally over-the-top and implausible.
Truly, the problem is not that we don't have time, but rather that we're impatient. Our generation is constantly looking for shortcuts. Finally, we've created a shortcut for arguably one of the more meaningful parts of our lives: finding a mate.
Certain online dating apps facilitate a shallow factor much higher than what society already propagates. It’s not helpful to judge every face we see — as a result, we’ve grown pickier because it seems that we have more options. Meeting people through a quick and shallow judgment on a phone’s screen is neither a healthy nor productive way to find love.
Additionally, online dating is warping our sense of intimacy. A recent study reported that nearly a third of women have sex after a first date. This is totally fine if casual sex is what you’re seeking, but maybe online dating shouldn’t be designated for this purpose. Many of the newer mobile dating apps seem to promote a higher priority on the sexual promise of a date, but it’s exploiting the intended purpose. By emphasizing the question of whether or not sex is in the cards in the early courting process, we’re clouding our perception of intimacy.
I understand that you work long hours and it's tough to find time for dating. I'm busy too. But, it's easier to meet someone in real life than you probably think. I've been on a few online dating dates, but the relationships have always lasted longer when I met the person in real life. The connection I have with someone I meet face-to-face is always stronger than the one I have through my router.
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