Men Have Feelings Too, They Just Express Them Differently

by Ashley Fern

Women all over continually complain about how men do not show their emotions; however, when they finally do -- these women are in for a rude awakening. A man's emotions are often times confusing and sometimes contradictory. Do not fret if you cannot understand your man’s emotions, chances are he cannot either.

People have the preconceived notion that men simply do not have feelings. This is far from the case. The problem is in the fact that women believe men should feel things the way they do. The truth is that men have a much harder time processing these feelings. Men are taught from an early age that they need to be strong, confident and stoic. They begin to equate emotions with weakness.

“Underlying brain differences may explain why men and women process their emotions so differently. On the surface it may seem like they have very different takes on the situation but they are really feeling quite similarly.”

Societal expectations have “taught” men not to display any emotions. This becomes a huge problem in relationships because men suppress their feelings since they tend not to have socially acceptable emotional outlets. They do not want to seem “emasculated” for caring about someone or something on a deeper level.

It is very obvious that men and women differ in the way they each express their emotions, but the difference is how they outwardly express and react to them. Scientifically, it has been proven that men tend to use the left side of their brain, which is where reasoning lies, whereas women tend to use the right side of their brain, which is attributed to emotion. This is what gives women the greater ability to comprehend people and express their emotions more efficiently.

“Emotions live in the background of a man’s life and the foreground of a woman’s.”

Women tend to have many more intimate relationships in their lives than do men. Females confide with their friends about issues in relationships far more than men do, for the fear of being judged or looking like a “girl.” Of course, this is not the case for all men, but for a lot of them -- it is. Women are generally more expressive than men, which allows them to build these intimate relationships with other people. Since men have a somewhat difficult time expressing themselves, they tend not to interact with others on such an emotional level.

I’ve seen many female friends in a tumultuous emotional state over their breakup or about problems in their relationships. They tend to deal with the problem at hand and move on pretty quickly. They embrace their emotions and feel every little thing. This is healthy because it allows them to acknowledge and analyze every feeling they can, so they can move on in their lives.

"Understanding how men and women differ when it comes to talking will give everyone a little more empathy when it comes to discussing emotional issues. And understanding one another is a big step when it comes to creating and maintaining an emotionally fit and loving relationship."

Males have been socialized to suppress excessive, outward emotion and this is detrimental to both men and women. The average man is just as emotional as a woman, if not more so, he just expresses it in different ways. Men seem much more likely to grow angry or bitter about a relationship gone wrong, and much more likely to do desperate and crazy things to reaffirm a relationship they want to keep. They seem to wear the bitter pants for a lot longer than women do.

Men typically explode when they become angry since rage remains the exemplary male emotion. Men are usually ridiculed if they express the softer emotions, especially in the presence of other men.

Societal norms really seem to be the driving force for this “phenomenon.” The different ways men and women display their emotions can cause a lot of confusion when they communicate with one another. It is imperative that we make ourselves aware of these differences, so that we are able to converse more successfully, while building relationships with other people.