There are a lot of dating rules shoved down our throats in media today.
Wait three days until you text or call. Don't be the first person to text too many times. Don't be too needy. Don't be too available. Be confident. Be vulnerable. Wait for them to say the L word. Don't be afraid to say the L word. Don't sleep with someone before the third date.
Following all the rules keeps you from living the moment and (TBH) is a real freaking buzzkill.
I'm going to tell you something I wish I learned a long time ago. Are you ready for it?
It doesn't matter how early or late you sleep with the person you're dating.
I know. Crazy.
But-but-but wait a minute. Maybe you're wondering what if having sex right away makes you look easy.
Hey, are you easy? No? Then don't worry about what you think it make you look like.
Also... what is easy anyway?
Here are a few things "being easy" is NOT: Two grownups making the mutual decision to engage in sex together, enjoying sex for the sake of physical pleasure or being physically turned on by someone.
If you decide you want to have sex with someone after knowing them for 20 minutes, that's between you and that person — nobody else. If that changes THEIR opinion of you, well, guess what? They're a jerk who subscribes to double standards, and you don't need that.
Here are a few things "being easy" is NOT: Two grown ups making the mutual decision to engage in sex together, enjoying sex for the sake of physical pleasure or being physically turned on by someone.
Remember, if you sleep with a guy on the first date, he is also sleeping with you on the first date. Hence, there is no reason for you — or him — to hold yourself to a different set of expectations or standards.
Likewise, if you decide you want to wait until the freaking cows come home, have a tea party and learn to fly before you jump in bed with someone, then good for you!
You're following your own sexual comfortability code and that's a shockingly, very difficult thing to do these days! More power to you.
Labeling individuals as easy or prude only pushes negative stereotyping on an otherwise personal decision we all ultimately make.
Remember, if you sleep with a guy on the first date, he is also sleeping with you on the first date.
The most important thing is that you have sex when you're good and ready, and don't let anyone talk you into or out of your comfort zone (Even though that can be really really tricky when you mix emotions and romance into the scenario.).
If it is important to you to wait and you know you'll feel icky if you jump the gun too soon, then sure, fight that tingly urge to go for it. But otherwise, you do you, baby girl, and screw anyone who is judging.
Literally screw them. BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.