4 Frustrating Things That Happen When You And Your Partner Kiss But Don't Have Sex

by Alison Segel
Kar Tr/Shutterstock

In high school, I once made out with a guy for so long that my skin started peeling off. I should also mention that I was on really strong medication for my acne and wasn't supposed to myself expose myself to activities that involved extreme and prolonged friction and/or chafing. But what was I supposed to do? This guy wouldn't go all the way with me, and kissing was the most we could do.

What's the thing when you're hooking up with someone, and you kiss but don't have sex? I think it's called taking your time. Well, sometimes, that can be annoying as hell. Here are some frustrating things that happen when you and your crush hook up but don't... you know.

1. You're Turned On But You Can't Get Off

What is the name for when women get blue balls? When you are hooking up with no real climax, you can get a serious case of the unresolved hornies.

If you know you and your crush aren't going to have sex, have you ever just waited for them to leave so you can just make yourself come? Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

2. You Wonder Why You're Not Having Sex


Is there something wrong with me, or is the person I'm hooking up with just super respectful? Do they actually only hook up with people they like? People they're in relationships with? What is this crazy madness?

Sometimes, people are against promiscuity and casual sex. Wild, I know. If random hookups are your thing, you have to remember not to take it personally if someone wants to take it slow. Someone wanting to wait can actually be a compliment. It's fine to wait it out, ya pervert!

3. You Wonder If They Don't Like You

Yes, it happens. We think that just because someone only wants to kiss us, then that means they don't actually like us. But if someone plants a smooch on your lips, it's actually more intimate than rushing straight into the sack to me. A kiss is a compliment. It's actually a sweet, pure act that says "I like you." You should be getting butterflies from it, not doubts.

If someone is quick to have sex with you, then they aren't showing a lot of discretion with whom they choose to share their bod — which is fine, if that's what you're looking for. But if you're left taking it personally because someone doesn't want to jump into bed with you, don't.

4. You Want Them More

Kayla Snell

Why do you always want what you can't have? Annoying, right? Every time I don't immediately get my way, I will fight and persist until I do — in, like, an appropriate, consensual way, obvi.

But alas, there's nothing like a heavy make-out sesh to leave you wanting more. Just remember this: Good things happen to those who wait... I think? Whatever. Do what you want! But just remember, a little kissing without any major action, while frustrating, can sometimes be a good thing.

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