So your best friend has found love, and in turn, you’ve found your social calendar bone-dry. When your partner in crime has found a romantic partner to take your place, don’t be so quick to discount your new leading role as the “third wheel.” For everything that blows about your BFF getting a BF, I assure you, there are hidden benefits.
Going Sad vs. Going Stag
Don’t think that because you’re tagging along with the happy couple, people must be looking at you like you weren’t quite cool enough to snag a +1 of your own. On the contrary, I’ve got it on good authority that men are in fact seeing you in an entirely different light.
More often than not, when you’re the one who appears to be single in a pack of three, men are less intimidated to approach you. Standing alone exudes confidence and without the pressure of needing to entertain your wing woman, the guy you’re making eyes with across the bar is less inhibited and more inclined to wander over and strike up conversation.
Irritation vs. Investigation
At first, it may seem bothersome to have your BFF’s new boyfriend pervading your daily routine. While you had planned on spending a ritual Sunday meeting up with your bestie to catch a late brunch and watch “Housewives” on DVR, her BF has infiltrated the afternoon with plans of beer and ballgames.
Instead of fighting the change, see this as an opportunity to observe the male psyche in its most natural state. Take this afternoon with your friend’s guy to get comfortable with how the other half operates. Let your hair down, order a pizza and root along next to him because the sooner you are able to share in his fun, the easier your transition into ‘testosterone territory’ will be.
Crashing vs. Collaborating
Yes, with this new relationship, girls’ nights will seem fewer and further between, but who says turning these nights co-ed has to be a bad thing? Consider your BFF’s boyfriend’s friends as party contributors, not party crashers. Men being brought into your circle are advantageous for all the obvious and not-so-obvious reasons.
Instead of heading into the jungle and having to sniff out your prey, an array of options may just be brought to the table for you. If nothing else, your girl’s guy bringing his friends around could result in you making some new friends of your own and that’s always a pro.
Exclusion vs. Evolution
Okay, so ultimately the biggest drag of your best friend having a boyfriend is that the time you usually spent with her is now divided by time she must invest in her new relationship. Fight that playground mentality that she “wants to play with him and not you” and realize that perhaps it’s time you play elsewhere for a change.
Too often we get caught up in the predictable motions of meeting up with the same people, heading to the same places and doing the same old things. Your best friend is switching it up and so should you. Take her spin-off show as the initiative you need to start thinking like a star and dodge the mundane.
Pick up a new class at the gym, make a new friend at work or just order your Tuesday morning latte from a new coffee shop. Your friend’s lack of attendance leaves you with the opportunities to step out of your comfort zone and focus on personal growth. Her absence will take some getting used to, but it won’t leave you lonely; it will simply leave you room for improvement.
All in all, we tend to fear change in, and disruption of, our daily lives, leaving us anxiously awaiting the moment it happens. Your best friend now coming as a package deal may throw you through a loop initially, but you have a long future of life’s loops ahead of you, so you can and will make it work.
Embrace this adjustment period and see that no other woman has ever made being a “third wheel” look so damn good.
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