Certain types of relationships have inherent expiration dates built within them. Unfortunately, unlike butter or cheese, people do not have expiration dates stamped on their foreheads; it’s too bad though, that would save us a lot of time.
How many people try to bring their high school relationships into college only to have it to blow up in their face? High school relationships are a reflection of your personality at the time. College is the place to grow and find yourself; how will you be able to do that if you are carrying your high school persona along for the ride?
You are only inhibiting your full potential from being recognized if you are stuck in your past. You need to break away and be independent!
The biggest mistake people make in relationships is holding on too long. Certain relationships such as those had over the course of a summer or abroad initially present expiration dates. In circumstances like these you have a few options.
The first allows you to act like a complete p*ssy and bail before even seeing what this person has to offer. This is a coward’s cop out from experiencing future heartbreak. You can agree to the relationship but let the thought of the future engulf your every thought and action, driving both you and your partner absolutely f*cking insane. In my opinion, both of these options are awful.
This leaves only one last option, to appreciate what you have and the time you have for it. Of course this isn’t going to be super easy but it’s the best option you have in comparison to the others. You need to live in the moment and appreciate every moment you have with this person and learn what you can from them. Take it as an opportunity and enjoy it while it lasts. Just because things are going to end does not mean you can’t enjoy it while it’s happening.
You need to accept when your relationship has an expiration date and not try to prolong it. People need to learn how to live in the moment and this is a great way to do that. Ultimately, you will survive so why not engage in something that will make you happy even if it’s only temporary? DO NOT make the mistake of thinking this will last beyond its expiration date. You will only rob yourself of the initial happiness.
Some people may think engaging in a relationship with a known expiration date is a burden, I on the other hand think it’s a blessing. You don’t need to solely focus on the commitment, you can take it for what it’s worth at face value and get all you can out of it.
Long distance is a killer and a situation where love cannot always conquer. This is an unrealistic situation of which I do not understand why people willfully immerse themselves in. You have a girlfriend or boyfriend in college but before you know it, it’s senior year and you are graduating. You are both heading back to your hometowns or moving to different cities.
Many people do work through the distance these instances offer but many are unable to. Distance pulls at the strings of your heart, often making the separation unbearable. This can result in fighting, which ultimately leads to breaking up. In situations like this it may be in your best interest to just accept the expiration the end of college has to offer and move on.
Each relationship should teach you something and if you are no longer growing or learning you need to cut the cord. This presents us with another type of relationship that is bound to expire: an undefined relationship. The longer you date someone in an undefined relationship the odds of you ever getting them to commit will decrease, not increase.
Another 6 months to a year will not help your situation; you are just prolonging the inevitable. If it has been a year and you are still trying to see where things are going you need to break up. This is usually in reference to the guy. If he is already getting what he wants from you so what would be the point to commit now? As the saying goes “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Honestly, he is probably just keeping you around until something better comes along. Why are you waiting around for a person that has made it clear they don’t value you? If a man can get away with not being in a relationship and is still reaping all the benefits, why wouldn’t he just string this girl along?
Deciding to remain in a relationship or leave is a complicated issue that plagues our generation. What is the point of dating in the real world if you do not see it working out in the long run? At some point you need to make the call to leave if the investment isn’t yielding the results you want.
If you don’t see any possibility of something more developing in the future than there is no point in continuing the relationship. By your mid-twenties you should have a pretty solid idea of what type of partner you want to date. You should know what behaviors are acceptable and which are deal breakers.
Ashley Fern | Elite.