Signs That Your Lover Is Over You

by Ally Batista

To most, this article may seem obvious, but lately I’ve been encountering many women and men who are unaware of these warning signs. Some people are honestly perplexed as to why their boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, guy/girl they’re talking to, whatever, have been acting so differently.

Well to put it simply, they’re not into you anymore. This happens. It’s absolutely impossible for everyone to like each other. Men and women are encouraged to date multiple people to find who they are ultimately best paired up with. Some people aren’t looking for a serious long-term marriage either and would rather date around. That’s completely fine, to each his own and if that’s what makes you happy, then by all means do it.

This article is directed towards those who don’t know when to quit. At a certain point, you have to say, “Alright, I can take a hint.” and move on.

Short Answers

I mean obviously. If you come home super excited about something that happened at work and your boyfriend or girlfriend can only say “Nice”, something is up. When your significant other becomes withdrawn and distant in conversation, they’re most definitely over it.

Being in a relationship means wanting to have discussions with the person you’re with. People who are together take the time to talk about things, make efforts to have conversations. The second they start being short with you, not elaborating, not telling you things, you should become suspicious.


A friend of mine is currently going through a break up. For the past few weeks he has been extending himself, making efforts to see his (now ex) girlfriend. He asked her to go to dinner and a movie one night and she responded that she couldn’t because she had to help her 24-year-old brother pack for his vacation to the Dominican Republic with his friends.

That was the actual excuse that she made. What girl would deny being taken out to dinner by their boyfriend to help their grown sibling pack a bag? It was the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard and I told him right then and there that it was about to end, and what do you know, they’re over.

When someone begins to make excuse after excuse to avoid spending time with you, you know that they’re over it. When the excuses are so obviously made up, you should take the time to sit your significant other down and call them out on their actions. Being in a relationship means wanting to spend time with one another, not more time apart.


He doesn’t want to go with you to your family’s Sunday dinner. She doesn’t want you going out with her and her group of friends. You’re not inviting them to join you with anything; you’re withdrawing yourself from the situation. People do this in anticipation of a breakup because I think that it makes it somewhat easier.

If you’re not spending as much time with someone as you used to, it’s easier to detach yourself. That is, until the person realizes that you’re pulling yourself away, continually asks you what’s wrong, and annoys the shit out of you.

Loss of Affection

Everyone is affectionate in his or her own way. Some people are touchier than others, use pet names, kiss in public more, however you choose to be affectionate to your significant other is your own choice. Showing affection is clear from the beginning. Whichever way you choose to show affection towards your boyfriend or girlfriend will be determined in the very early stages of the relationship.

If that affection changes, you know that something is up. If your boyfriend likes to hold your hand and kiss you on the forehead when you’re out with each other, he’s going to do it all the time. Yes, some people can have an off day and not want to be affectionate that day, but long term loss of affection is a sure sign that something is up.

Not Making Future Plans

This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage or moving in together. I’m talking about when your boyfriend or girlfriend gets an invitation to a relative’s July wedding in January and doesn’t ask you to be their date. If you suggest a vacation with your significant other within the next six months and they say “We’ll see.”

This is a very clear sign that they may not be too sure that you both will be together when that time comes. At this point, you should definitely take the time to see what’s wrong between the two of you, and maybe leave the relationship.

The point of this article is to be aware. Always know what the warning signs are so you never find yourself caught off guard, resulting in you being more hurt post-breakup.


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