What It Means To Have A Sex Dream About Your Longtime Ex
This week, we have Gemma* who's just now having sex dreams about her high school ex who she could've sworn she was completely over:
So my last relationship ended my freshman year of college nearly five years ago. I haven't talked to the guy since we broke up. It ended badly and he was just a toxic person, so I cut him out completely. He's been on my mind lately, though. I think it's just because I work as a dating editor, so talking about relationships is part of my everyday routine. He was the last relationship I had, so it seems natural that he would pop up in my mind now and again. But I haven't dreamt about him in a reallyyyyy long time. Like, years. I took ZzzQuil before going to bed the last two nights, and last night it gave me the weirdest, most vivid dream about him.
The dream started with me sleeping in my current bed, and I "wake up" to him and his sister sitting at the edge of my bed just, like, asking me how I've been since we broke up and it was so real and creepy. He was being really handsy, like rubbing his hands over my legs that were under my covers. I kept pushing his hands away, but he and his sister just kept on talking.
Then I went back to sleep in the dream, but the dream changed and suddenly we were literally at a resort in the middle of some random snowy mountains, and he kept on trying to be friends with me/hook up with me. Just about every moment of the dream was him asking how I am and trying to get to know me again, and then trying to pull me in close to his body in an attempt to kiss me/have sex with me again. I ended up physically fighting him in the end and "escaping" the resort we were at. The whole time he was freakishly skinny, and I woke up like, WTF IS HAPPENING. Moral of the story is I'm not taking ZzzQuil anymore.
Here's Lauri's interpretation:
You might want to put the blame for this dream on your job rather than ZzzQuil, whose latest commercial is hilarious, BTW. Have you seen it?
Anyway, waking up in a dream is an indication that you have had an "awakening" or realization recently in your real life. Have you thought to yourself, "Gosh, it's been five years. A relationship would be kind of nice."? That's most likely what your ex represents: relationships and dating in general rather than representing himself. In the dream, he's rubbing your legs, which are your ability to get up and get going (as far as the relationship department is concerned). He also keeps asking you how you are doing, which is really YOU asking this of yourself. Are you really OK going this long without a relationship? Did he poison the idea for you? This is serious introspection!
He also keeps asking you how you are doing, which is really YOU asking this of yourself.
You keep pushing his hands away because in real life, you probably push the idea of a relationship away whenever you feel the pressure.
In your next dream, the setting involves snow, which tells me you have grown cold to the idea of being in a relationship. But your ex is trying to be your friend because your subconscious wants you to warm up to the idea, and most importantly, make peace (make friends) with the past. That's the key to being open to and having a healthy relationship in the future: letting go of what is behind you so you can move forward towards what awaits you. But like the first dream, you are not only fighting the idea, but you are desperately running from it. But fear not! I am seeing a positive sign, and that is in the form of your ex's freakishly skinny frame. That suggests that the horrible breakup doesn't carry as much weight as it once did and that your fear of relationships is diminishing.
Having dreams about your ex when you're not over them is one thing.
Like, yes, it obviously sucks, but you can understand where it's coming from. You're not over him and it's fresh, so it's on your mind.
But I TOTALLY get how having dreams about him years later when you could've sworn you were totally over it would be the WEIRDEST.
Luckily, Lauri's interpretation makes it seem like more than anything else, this kind of dream is a sign that you're ready to get back out there and start dating again!
Hopefully this was helpful to Gemma and anyone else having a similar dream.
*Names have been changed.