An Expert Told Us What A Sex Dream About An Ex Saying 'I Love You' Means

A while ago, I collaborated with famed dream expert, Lauri Loewenberg, to decode any and all of your freakiest sex dreams. And I've had a guilty conscience about it ever since.

I know there are far freakier sex dreams than the 22 general concepts that are mentioned on that list. We all have deeply personal, weirdly detailed dreams that we sometimes just can't seem to shake out of our heads. 

Like, WHY did you dream about that guy from the grocery store yesterday? WHY was he wearing a top hat and nothing else?! What does it mean? Do you have to tell your boyfriend? Are you actually into the weird grocery store guy?!

So, I've decided to start a column. You guys can submit your sex dreams here, and we will have Lauri interpret one dream a week.

This week, we have Candy* who recently had a dream about her first love:

An ex-boyfriend and I broke up a year ago after a three year relationship. We haven't spoken since the breakup. He was my first love and I missed him a lot, but gradually learned to get over him up until I started having wild sexual dreams about him. I would say I've had about a handful of these dreams. One dream in particular I would like to have decoded is a dream where we were doing our thing and he whispers in my ear "I love you, I will never let you go." I woke up with goosebumps because upon waking up and thinking back at it, it felt so real. I wonder if this was a sign telling me he still loves me? Or still thinks of me?

And here's what Lauri has to say about it:

Hi Candy, You've experienced your first love... that's a huge milestone! In fact, it is such a significant milestone that he is very likely to show up in your dreams from now on. Before you fall out of your chair, let me explain. The first time we experience love, it's quite an amazing feeling. It's bubbly and tingly and delicious! AND we feel sexy because someone totally digs us. Those are powerful feelings, and they become imprinted into our subconscious and the person who first caused those feelings within us forever becomes a symbol for them. So whenever we are in a dry spell -- when we aren't in a relationship or when the relationship we are in has become a bit too routine and hum drum -- that first love will pop into our dreams... even decades later! He or she will serve as a reminder that it's time to spice things up again, to bring that excitement and desire back into our life or back into our current relationship. Let me tell you, it's been almost 30 years since I was with my first love, and he still makes cameos in my dreams from time to time. But I know it's not because I want him back or he's thinking of me; it's because I need the reminder that I am a passionate person, and I need to kick it up in the romance department with my hubby. Now, your breakup is still pretty new, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are still feelings you are harboring that are at play here. What he tells you in the dream is important, but it is also important to know that these are not his words but rather what you are saying to yourself. Your dream is your inner mind's creation, so this is all you, not him. But don't be sad or disappointed. This is your inner conversation with yourself about him and about love. On one level, you are telling yourself that you do not want to let go of what you had. On another level, this is your subconscious telling you that it is not letting go because he is now -- and will continue to be -- a powerful dream symbol for you. And on the deepest level, this is your wise dreaming mind saying don't let go of the hope of love. First loves aren't meant to last. They usher us into the world of romance and teach us what a healthy relationship should or should not be. They help us to develop the skills and gain the knowledge we will need when THE ONE finally comes along. So go ahead and let go of the guy, but do hold on to the lessons that first love has given you.
Go ahead and let go of the guy, but do hold on to the lessons that first love has given you.

Hopefully this was helpful to Candy and anyone else who may have had a dream about an ex!

Again, if you have your own sex dream you'd like to have Lauri interpret, feel free to submit it here.

* Name has been changed.