One of my recent articles on Casanova brought a rather exciting thought to mind: What if you really could spend your life hopping from one girl to the next, only sticking around long enough to enjoy all the benefits of a fresh relationship and bouncing as soon as the honeymoon phase is over?
What kind of life would one have to lead in order to be able to pursue such a lifestyle? Would it be a pleasing life? It certainly would be a pleasurable one, but would it be fulfilling? Most of these questions depend on the person. I’m going to dissect this idea a little bit and see where it takes me. As of right now I have absolutely no idea where this article will go — I just hope it’s coherent. I present to you: Life As A Serial Honeymooner.
One of the most meaningful aspects of life consists of the people that we meet and are able to connect with. There are many arguments for keeping the amount of people closest to us at a minimum, saying that having fewer friendships, but more meaningful ones, will lead to greater happiness.
This seems slightly counterintuitive to me — why would connecting with more people produce less joy? The one reason that comes to mind is that human beings are only allotted a certain amount of time on this planet and building strong, important relationships with people takes a significant amount of time. If we were not to put in the time to building healthy relationships, then we will be left with shallow ones.
In other words, we ought not to accumulate too many relationships and rather ought to keep those closest to us at a minimum. However, being a serial honeymooner does not necessarily require accumulating a large number of close friends. It seems plausible that one could keep their true friends at a minimum while switching up who they are in a relationship with every three months or so.
So far it seems like honeymooning forever — switching up partners right before things become at risk of being uncomfortable — is a possibility. Maybe it’s time to take a peek at the ethics — or lack of — that may be present when leading such a promiscuous lifestyle. Is there something innately wrong with dating a person for three or four months and then breaking it off, knowing beforehand that that is the exact plan?
I guess that also depends. If the person that you are “dating” believes that the relationship is set for the long-run, then maybe. But is only a handful of months really enough for a person to believe that things are going to continue for years?
Sure, the other person may hope that it does and breaking it off with them may hurt them a bit — but is it wrong to break it off with them because your intentions the entire time were to enjoy their company for a short period and then move on to experience the next beautiful person? As long as you don’t make any empty promises, I personally can’t find anything wrong with it.
Most relationships don’t last for more than three months anyway, so breaking it off at the beginning because you want something fresh can’t be said to be innately wrong.
Is this sort of lifestyle bound to lead to a shallow, unfulfilling life? I don’t think so. It really depends on the mentality that you have. If you are honeymooning eternally because you enjoy f*cking as many women as you possibly can, then you are likely to conclude one day in the future that the life you lived was unfulfilling — but hey, maybe you’re entirely content with being a collector. I, for one, am a lover at heart.
However, I am not a believer of true love or finding the person that is “the one." I believe that finding the right person depends more on being in the right place at the right time, having the right mindset. I think it entirely plausible to love countless women — you’ll just have to come into contact with them.
I don’t see a reason why a man, for example, can’t love a woman the way human beings ought to all love each other, treat her well and with respect -- even begin to develop a romantic love for her -- and then cut ties and move onto the next one; the same goes for a woman.
Yes, such a lifestyle is selfish, but humans are selfish beings. The fact is that in such a scenario both parties will be better off: both will have had fun while things lasted, both would have been treated with respect and both will be left with great memories.
My view is that the rules of social conduct that the world holds true are prudish. I believe the hippies were onto something with all that “One Love” stuff — minus all the hallucinogenics. Imagine how amazing it would be to meet a beautiful, smart, intelligent woman, date her for a few months — treat her well and actually love her — then decide that the relationship has run its course and move onto another love.
You could, in theory, move from one lover to the next for years on end loving each and every man or woman along the way. I never understood the point of dating — unless you are looking to settle down. If you are not ready to settle down and decide to date regardless of the fact, then you are living the life of a serial honeymooner without knowing it — except that you are likely to be much more miserable, not understanding why your relationships are failing.
How many times do people use the excuse: “It’s not you, it’s me” and mean it? I think rather often. In my personal relationships it was always me. But instead of accepting that fact, I tried to fight it. Screw that. Why torture yourself when you can live the life you are living, but do so with a clean conscience? I think I just found my new calling.
Paul Hudson | Elite.
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