It's fun and it's convenient, and other than a pair of sexy undies, you don't invest much into it.
You basically get to have a no-holds-barred humpfest and go about your day afterwards without needing to check on your partner.
So what's the catch when you take on a f*ck buddy?
Your pseudo-relationship will revolve around sex. The topics of your communication will be predominantly when to hook up, what position is preferred and which toys or roles to try.
Therefore, you cannot expect your "playmate" to start asking you what your favorite color is, what your hopes and dreams are or how many kids you want to have, nor should you ask these questions.
Your relationship is merely an agreement between two people to have sex with no strings attached and no feelings involved.
Asking or expecting more than sex is a violation of your agreement. It is and always will be just about sex.
So now, whether you've never been in a strictly-sex relationship before or you're considering the idea, here's what you need to know about the physical, psychological, social and emotional risks and consequences of taking part in no-strings nookie:
1. Developing feelings
This is the most common risk of being in a f*ck buddy setup. The reason is mainly because you’re likely hooking up with someone you’re incredibly attracted to.
Physical attraction, after all, is one of the main factors in considering someone for a romantic relationship.
2. Losing self-respect and self-esteem
The only reasons accepted by the norm for having intercourse are a) to express love to your partner, and b) to build a family.
Take those out of the equation and you may find yourself having a hard time justifying why you’re having a strictly-sex relationship.
It also doesn’t help that there is a double standard against women hooking up, so you resort to either confiding in only your closest non-judgmental friends about the relationship, or not telling anyone else about it at all.
3. Losing respect for your partner
You know that your partner is willing to hook up without asking for anything in return, and this puts him or her in a different light when compared to other people you've been with.
Without being able to confide in, share meaningful conversations and doing personal activities apart from sex with your partner, your relationship lacks depth and significance.
4. Contracting an STD
Before you get into any friends-with-benefits relationship, you should ask your partner and make sure he or she does not have any STDs before you engage in any acts.
Also remember to always wear protection whenever you do the deed. Still, since you are not in a committed relationship with this person, you cannot demand and ensure that he or she does not have sex with anyone else, let alone be 100 percent assured your FWB stays cooties-free whenever he or she does.
5. Misplaced jealousy
Whether you have developed feelings for your partner or you just simply do not want to share your sex toy, you might find yourself feeling jealous of other people your partner gets close with.
This is difficult because you can’t voice your jealousy or ask your partner to stop seeing other people.
If protection fails (hoping that you do use protection), you might find yourself in this very challenging and unwanted position.
You would have to make decisions on a major responsibility with someone you do not have a meaningful relationship with (yikes!).
7. Lowered expectations on your other relationships
As you put in more time into your casual relationship, you'll become accustomed to shallow connections.
There will be no holding hands, no terms of endearment and no discussing feelings or personal details.
The more time you put in not doing these things, the more this behavior becomes normal to you. This eventually will carry over to your other relationships without you even realizing it.
8. Compromising your career and social life
A successful career and social standing rely heavily on one very vulnerable thing: reputation. Reputation is based mainly on morals, or whatever behavior is deemed acceptable by the norm.
Once people find out that you take part in casual relationship(s), you may jeopardize your reputation and all the merit and social credibility that you’ve worked hard on building.
Just to be clear, I did not point out all these risks and consequences to discredit hooking up. I, for one, am very much in favor of going after what I truly want, and if having fun without the frills of a romantic relationship is what you want, so be it.
However, I also think it’s better to be mindful of what possible ramifications are in store before indulging ourselves.
More importantly, it helps to make sure your true desires are being considered. Are you really in it just for sex, or are you hoping to get more out of it? In no-strings-attached relationships, the fewer expectations you have, the less risks and consequences there may be.
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