Get Over That Person Before Moving Onto The Next

by Ally Batista

Sometimes new relationships fail. And there is a plethora of reasons why these new loves may fall by the wayside . Some people are just not meant for each other. Sometimes that spark is doused with cold reality more quickly than you might expect or hope.

This is all fine. Not every stranger is your serendipity. If the chemistry isn't present, why try and fake it? In these instances it's best to put a stop to it. I encourage it even.

It's like trying to force puzzle pieces together that just don't fit, you keep pushing and pounding them, trying to bludgeon the little grooves together. And no matter how hard you try, it  just doesn't work. That's life. It happens, and in those situations it's best to wipe your hands of it and let yourself find someone new. But sometimes a relationship is halted before it's really given a chance.

I'm talking about the kind of people who initiate relationships knowing that they're not ready for them. I'm talking about every single one of you out there who immediately rebound to someone new. You find a new love interest when you still have someone else burning on your mind.

That's just setting you, and your new cohort, up for failure. If you spend any second, of any day, still thinking about your previous relationship - you're not ready. Obviously your past loves will always darken the back of your mind, influencing your actions, but they should function as a lesson, not as a present emotion. That's being over someone.

To be over someone means you don't speak to him, you don't stare at her Facebook pictures, you don't meticulously review his or her tweets, you don't constantly reminisce of the good times and fond memories, and you most certainly don't wish you can still be with him. Take your time to heal.

You don't have to rush and you don't need someone to be happy. A lot of people out there believe that happiness is synonymous with having someone in your life. If you're one of those people, you're not ready for a relationship. You're the kind of person who shouldn't be allowed to be with anyone.

Those of you who allow yourselves to date new people before you're over your ex are doing more damage than you think. You're pushing yourself further in love with your ex and you're hurting the other person involved. You're not giving your 100% to this new person because you still daydream about what once was.

Well guess what? Your ex is your ex for a reason. If your ex were meant to be in your present,  your ex would be. Get real, under no circumstances does crawling back ever turn out well.

Sure, you think you can reconcile and get past your differences, maybe even forget about them. But you can't. Whatever issue there was, the one or many, that caused you to break up, will undoubtedly resurface.

Take the time to be by yourself and get over your past. I'm sure many of you will argue that dating new people is a great means of getting over your ex, and maybe in some cases, it might be true.

Go out to dinner, get drinks, dance with someone at the club, because trivial, social activities such as these are fine. But the second you have someone else developing feelings for you, and the second you become intimate, is the second that you've gone too far. Do both yourself and your next fling a favor, get over it.

Ally | Elite.

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