There's this TREND in which parents act like it's the most normal, easy thing in the world to discuss PERIODS with their children.
I mean, the idea of having a candid, natural conversation is great, but I'm not fully buying this whole garble about how smooth it is to talk to your kids about menstrual blood and sex and body parts.
The truth is, no matter how hard we try to be these evolved, PC creatures, it's always going to be a little bit awkward to discuss these things with our blushing, squirming, wild-eyed kids.
And this video from Cut is direct evidence of just that:
In the video, parents attempt to explain to their kids why women bleed out of their vaginas every month, what these strange cat-toy-looking things (tampons) are and that we shove them up inside our vaginas to quell the incessant stream of blood.
All of the kids in this video look traumatized and ready to fly off the couch 0r disappear into the thin air, no matter how calm their parent is.
And even the most calm of parents found their feathers to be a bit rumpled when presented with a diva cup. Not one parent knew what the hell the eco-friendly plastic cup that you stick inside your vagina to collect blood in lieu of a tampon was!
(More evidence that learning about new body things is weird for anyone of any age.)
Now that I'm in child-bearing age (sort of), I often think about how I'm going to explain things like sex, periods, tampons, pads and vaginas and penises to my kids.
I would like to imagine myself as one of those cool, open moms — the kind who fearlessly use words like "vagina" and "penis" without flinching or using some cutesy lingo.
The kind of mom who so shamelessly speaks about all the morbid shit that happens to us, like blood stains on our underwear and bizarre discharge, so my kids are empowered and not freaked out by their own bodies.
But the truth is, even writing the word "discharge" and "menstrual blood" makes me feel embarrassed. And I grew up with a VERY uninhibited, open mother who spoke candidly to me about all things regarding le period, and it didn't make me feel anymore comfortable.
I know in theory we should never be ashamed of periods, sex and all that fun stuff, but it is is kind of ODD stuff to explain to fresh ears.
I mean, remember the first time someone broke the news to you that, one day, dark, red blood will pour out of your vagina, and you'll have to shove cotton up there a week out of every month?
And it will be painful, and you will feel bloated, but it's OK because it's somehow connected to having a baby? And having baby happens through sex? And heterosexual sex is when a man puts his penis inside of a woman's vagina?
It's all really weird shit to hear, no matter how well the parent explains it.
So personally, kittens, I find this awkward video of parents explaining tampons to their kids oddly comforting. I'll sleep better tonight.