Not Always Being Attracted To Your SO Doesn't Mean You Need To Break Up

by Cynthia Bonitz
20th Century Fox

I once had a boyfriend whom I wanted to fuck all the time. Seriously, our chemistry was bonkers.

Sometimes, sex just works. And it didn't hurt that he was hot and totally my type, too: scruffy, into music and sports, funny and easy-going. How did I ever get so lucky?

But the longer you date someone, the more you learn about them.

And what did I learn? Well, boys are gross, and sometimes, I wanted to punch my boyfriend in the throat.

Yes, I still wanted to fuck him most of the time, but every now and again, there would come a moment where I'd look over at him and think to myself, "Fuck no."

He would slurp his soup and knock his spoon on his teeth. He would always talk about farting. He even knew every disgusting term Urban Dictionary had for vaginas, penises and "bumping uglies," and he would use them every chance he got.

Did I still want to fuck him in the moment? No. Was I wildly attracted to him at that very second? Absolutely not.

But that side of him wasn't the part I fell in love with. In loving him, though, I had learned to accept it. After all, he was human, right?

It seems everyone has such harsh standards and polished ideas of what love and a "perfect" relationship will be like. These standards make people believe, if they're ever going to find "forever" love, then their SO and their relationship must be subliminally perfect.

Then, when their partner does something that unexpectedly turns them off, they think their relationship is ultimately doomed.

But life is complicated, and love is even more complicated.

People are always going do things you don't like, say slightly appalling things and get into horrible moods. That's when you have to remember why you fell in love with that person.

Just because you don't want to rip your SO's clothes off every single moment of the day, doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. Being blissfully happy in your relationship 100 percent of the time is unrealistic.

Being blissfully happy in your relationship 100 percent of the time is unrealistic.

Like I said before, boys are gross. After a few days of not seeing my boyfriend, I'd open the door to find him looking rough because he hadn't showered since the last time I saw him.

Naturally, I wouldn't be attracted to him in that moment I opened the door. I mean, how could anyone not shower for three days in the summertime?

But then, he'd shower and smell like mint and pine trees, and I'd return to wanting to fuck his brains out.

Nobody is ever going to be attracted to their partner at all times.

Of course, I called him out on it, but it didn't warrant a breakup. No, a heavy eye roll sufficed.

That's how real love happens. When you have no problem calling out your SO on the gross shit they do (and when they call you a bitch for calling them out in the first place), you've reached a new level of comfortability that's hard to find.

The point is, nobody is ever going to be supremely attracted to their partner at all times. It's just the imperfect reality of people, habits, relationships and moods.

And if you love your SO for the right reasons, a few gross habits shouldn't ruin things completely.