The person you just started dating is amazing. I’m assuming there were many reasons why you wanted to start dating that person. The first couple of months being in each other’s company just felt right. You two are inseparable. You two are the couple that makes everyone jealous. You’re the couple that makes everyone wish they could have a relationship just like yours.
Suddenly, what seemed to be going smoothly takes a turn in another direction. It just stops. What stopped is what’s called the honeymoon phase. You start to analyze every possible scenario of how everything started going downhill in such a short amount of time, when the real answer might not be so hard to find.
So guys, I want you all to think hard about the first time you laid your eyes on the one you claimed would be yours. What caught your attention about this person? Why was this person so different from the others? How is this person so special? If you can’t remember why you made him or her yours, then don’t even bother staying in the relationship. If you want your relationship to work, then you have to put in the effort.
So, here are some simple and beneficial ways to keep your relationship feeling like it did when you first started dating, in the honeymoon phase.
Spend time alone.
So your relationship has been a little on the rocks lately. You guys seem to be arguing over the dumbest matters, and when there is nothing left to fight about, you guys fight more. Your relationship is missing its sparkle. Remember when I asked, why did you start dating this person in the first place? Well, now it’s your time to think.
I want you to take a couple days away from your partner and just think. Take a moment to just go back to the lively days you shared with each other. What was it that made you guys happy when you were together? What’s changed since then? Maybe you two have grown apart and want different things, or maybe one of you is the only one putting in the effort to savor the relationship.
If any of these examples apply to you, then think hard about the problems that have been happening frequently. Now, if you do want your relationship to feel like the honeymoon phase, then you just have to start all over and recover every moment you shared with your partner.
Make a chivalrous comeback.
Here is a short couples activity that I feel could help out a lot. This sounds like a couple’s therapy session, but trust me, that’s not what I intend it to be. I may have majored in television over psychology, but I do know a lot about relationships so bare with me on this one.
I want you to sit with your partner and I want you both to write down as much as you can about what you like about your partner: your favorite attributes, most memorable date, funniest experience, most emotional experience, etc. When you’re both finished, exchange papers and read them aloud to each other.
From a guy’s perspective, this might sound stupid, but I’m sure deep down you are very curious to know what your girlfriend wrote about you. The purpose of this exercise is to share our emotions and thoughts. Sometimes we can’t find the words to tell someone how we truly feel for fear of the outcome. In this generation, we never write letters anymore and e-mails don’t count. Actual handwritten love letters are the best way to get your feelings across to your partner, even if it’s a little note in the morning.
So that is exactly what this little activity is about -- making it feel as if chivalry isn’t dead, as if the smallest gestures are what actually means the most. Reading love letters might be an emotional experience because you both will truly find out how much you mean to each other. Taking the time to sit and reminisce about your past experiences with each other and bringing back the high spirits of the memories you two bonded over will definitely ignite that spark.
Make a vow.
The past you two have shared together should always be remembered. In marriages, some couples renew their vows. The same can be done while dating. It’s about retelling the story over again. Bring back all the pictures from years ago, souvenirs or just little artifacts that you both have shared together, laughed about or cried about. Retell the stories.
It will feel nostalgic and maybe even slightly overwhelming, but in a meaningful and beneficial way. This can mark the start of a refreshing new start. You two can finally make a vow to make new memories and leave the fighting behind. You both realized that the past was amazing and the present has some work to be done, but the future will hold great things for you both.
Who ever said that the honeymoon phase only lasted a couple of months? Make it last forever.