The Difference Between Love And Infatuation

by Ally Batista

Have you ever been in a situation where you're watching someone constantly hurt themselves in a poor relationship and nothing you do or say will change their mind? It sucks, doesn't it? You just want to take that person and shake them, scream in their face and hope that they finally understand what everyone else does about their relationship.

Well, maybe that's just me. I definitely handle situations of this nature in an overly assertive manner, but when you care about someone and want them to realize something they are disallowing themselves to accept, it's unbelievably frustrating.

If only there was some way I could just force my own perspective on some of my friends in dysfunctional relationships so they can see that from my angle, it's blatantly obvious that the reason it's not working out is because one party thinks they just need to be with someone to be happy.

People like this don't know the difference between love and attachment. They don't even realize that what they're feeling is just an addictive infatuation, not love.

These people will be in abusive or emotionally abusive relationships, and cannot remove themselves from the situation because they believe that they “love” that person, when in reality, their mind has simply developed such an attraction to the idea of being with their significant other that thinking about becoming single just seems so alien and uncomfortable.

They cannot live without that person, or so they think. Isn't that sad? I've recently witnessed a situation in which one person had proof, cold hard proof, that their significant other was being unfaithful, on multiple situations, and still did not end the relationship. This person keeps saying, “Next time” and pushes the break up off to a later date.

I don't know whether this situation makes me more angry than sad. Why don't people like this realize their worth? Can't they see that this isn't the only way a person can be happy with his or herself? It's even sadder when the relationship is between two young people.

It would be a completely different situation if there were finances or children tying a relationship together. Of course this would make someone more reluctant to leave another, but I will never for the life of me understand why a young twenty-something year old would want to stay with someone who has cheated on them.

If you have done this before or are even currently letting your obsession overpower the disrespect you feel for being cheated on, my only question is, why? Because you “love” this person? Chances are, you don't even know what love means. Love means not needing to question whether the person you're with is being unfaithful, because you know deep in your heart that they are not.

Love means not having to make excuses, not having to go to bed upset, and not having to lower your standards to be with someone. When you find out your partner is cheating on you and you just let it go, you're just giving that person permission to continue walking all over you.

Have a backbone. Realize what you're worth. I absolutely promise you that there is someone ten times better for you out there than whoever cheated on you.

You don't need anyone to survive, and don't you dare ever say you'd be heartbroken all the time if you were single. Separate yourself from anyone who has wronged you like this because if you don't, you're opening the door for this person and many more to come to do the same thing over and over again.

Ally | Elite.

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