Learning To Let Go: How To Fall Out Of Love (And Be Okay With It)

by Jel Directo

We are taught to love and to be generous in love. Every moment, we are taught to care, to share and to keep giving. We dare to be brave, to take leaps and chances. And if any regret is impermissible, it is the regret of not expressing love to someone we should.

But every day, as we are greeted with lists of ways to perfectly love a person, we forget that there is also room for learning how to unlove a person. We forget that we need to learn to let go and to keep in mind that not every battle is worth the fight.

We forget that sometimes, we need to let our minds win over our hearts because our hearts are often too clouded by emotions to make decisions mindfully.

To unlove a person is difficult. 

I’ve had many breakup experiences sparked by someone, whom I loved, failing me. I learned to be strong and to let go, but despite the number of times that I was forced to take this step of unloving, I still have never mastered the art of it. The necessity of doing it would always catch me off guard — every single time.

To unlove someone is a struggle. 

It is going against the current; it is fighting the natural flow of your emotions. It is going against everything your heart wants; it is struggling to adhere to every move you want to take.

To unlove someone is to deprive yourself.

To love another person is one of the best feelings in the world and to deprive yourself of it means taking away the opportunity to experience the joy it can bring you.

To unlove someone is to push away.

To unlove someone is to feel his lips on yours and his hand caressing yours, but to fight every muscle in your body telling you to reciprocate.

To unlove someone is to know that there is something better waiting for you.

Because, why else would you step away from the joy of loving?

To unlove someone is to love yourself.

You unlove another because you remember to love yourself. Because in those moments when you put him first and he forgot to do the same, you remember to put yourself first. You cannot love someone in place of loving yourself and you cannot love someone who will never love you back.

If that happens, it will hurt, you will have to unlove the person, learn to love yourself and then start from the beginning.

Photo Credit: Destiny Blue