How To Stay Attracted To Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend In A Long-Term Relationship
My husband is not only my best friend in the world, but he's also the sexiest man I've ever met and gotten to kiss, touch, hold, and do some other dirty things to up close. We have the best relationship ever, and we're constantly either in bed together, just out of bed together, or priming for our next romp in bed together. Wondering how to stay attracted to your boyfriend or girlfriend over the long haul? I can help!
Finding your soulmate is one of the best things in life. When you find them, though, it's important to remember that everything isn't going to flow perfectly all the time. There are going to be periods of time where you are both sick at home and wearing sweatpants for days. There are going to be times you're running around a lot and only have time for a quickie once a day.
Because of those things, it's important to continuously put effort into your relationship — specifically into staying attracted to each other.
My husband and I are a great fit, so we do a lot of the things on this list naturally. That said, I've put together eight of the best tips for staying attracted to your partner long-term.
1. Practice Self-Care
OK, I know what you're thinking: “Take care of yourself for your partner” sounds like advice that would be in a 1950s magazine. But take the advice anyway, because it's not just about your relationship.
The truth is, you should already be taking care of yourself for yourself! Working out, eating right, getting enough sleep: These are all things that make you happier and healthier. And when you're happier and healthier, your relationship will be, too. And so will the sex!
2. Give Yourselves Room To Miss Each Other
Too many couples think they need to be up in each other's junk all the time in order to have a healthy relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. Actually, you should be giving yourselves enough couple's time, but also enough apart time! Giving each other space will help you maintain a healthy distance and help keep the passion alive. Entire books have been written on the subject!
I'm a big fan of maintaining space, distance, and mystery in my marriage. It helps me see my husband like a stranger sometimes, instead of the man who sees me in my glasses, PJs, and sweatpants all the time, and it helps fuel even more sexy energy.
3. Send Sexy Messages
I don't mean you have to send nudes all the time. (Although, if you are into that, you totally should.) I mean sending texts to keep the spark alive. Here are a few of my favorites:
The Anticipatory Text: This is an “I can't wait…” text. Examples include “I can't wait to peel your clothes off tonight,” “I can't wait for this weekend away with you,” and “I can't wait to kiss you next time we see each other.” It doesn't have to be complicated. Short, sweet, and sexy is the way to go.
The Re-living Text: This is a “Remember that time…” text — ideally, remember that sexy time! Ask your partner if they remember when you did that one wild thing or had that great night. It'll spark their brain for you and that one time all over again.
The Imagination Text: This is a “What if we…” text. “What if we had sex on the beach this weekend?” “What if we went to a steamy couples lodge?” It can be anything you might like to do that'll drive your partner wild.
Texts like this won't be expected but will keep the flames burning. I send them to my husband constantly!
4. Keep Romance Alive Outside The Bedroom
It's not all about sex. It's also about attraction. One way to keep romance alive inside the bedroom is to make sure it's living outside the bedroom. Do nice things for your partner. Remember what makes them happy. Keep track of big things that are important to them.
In other words, never stop dating! Just because you're in an LTR now, doesn't mean you don't have to work at it. One of my favorite things about my husband is that he always makes me feel like we're on a first date and like he can't believe he gets to be with me. And I love it, because it keeps our romance alive and well.
5. Come On To Each Other
OK, if you're anything like me, you might be a sure thing to your partner. (For my husband, I'm pretty easy. I mean, he's hot, and we're married, and I always want him so... he gets lucky a lot.) And your partner might be a sure thing to you.
That said, don't forget to still hit on them! I hit on my husband all the time, whether it's with a cheesy pickup line (“What's a guy like you doing in a place like this…” while standing in our kitchen) or whether it's just by giving him a sexy eye across a crowded room. He does the same for me. Coming on to each other will help you both remember how desired you are.
6. Compliment Each Other
A simple “You look gorgeous!” can go a really long way for boosting your partner's self-esteem and making them want you even more.
I KNOW I'm lucky as hell to have my husband, so I'm also always letting him know that. Sometimes. I compliment him on something he's wearing, and sometimes, I just tell him he looks super handsome right before he goes out the door.
He does the same for me. Whether it's a new dress he hasn't seen yet or just my wild hair flowing around my face, he is always telling me I'm gorgeous and the sexiest thing he's ever seen.
7. Be Appreciative
This is another one of those “outside the bedroom” things, but it can also be labeled for in-bedroom use: Remember to be appreciative of your partner and their effort in your relationship.
Say thank you for the little things your partner does for you. Maintain your gratitude by purposely reminding yourself how great of a relationship you have. Tell your partner they are the best partner in the world because they likely are for you.
My husband and I might go overboard on our appreciation for each other, but it's what makes us us. And it's what keeps the spark going for days.
8. Go Do Something Crazy Together
One of the best things you can do to keep the spark alive is to try something new together. Whether it's a journey to a new destination or just a new activity, doing something new together will help keep your creative juices flowing (and will probably get other juices flowing, knowwhatI'msayin'?).
My husband and I are constantly trying new things together. Whether it's a new restaurant that just opened up or a new EDM artist performing at a rave we want to go to, we're always having adventures together, and it keeps us super attracted to one another.
Being in a long-term relationship with someone you love is truly awesome, but it can also sometimes require effort on your partner to make sure you keep the spark, well, sparking! By following the tips on this list, you'll ensure that you and your partner stay attracted to each other for a long time to come.
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