Why Hookups Are The New Dates


With all the resources we have at our disposal: from texting to Facebook, you would think that making connections with people or potential mates would be easier than ever, so where did it go wrong?

It is no secret that this generation, or the 'ME generation,' has an epidemic on its hands. We want what we want, and we wanted it yesterday. This entitlement we have, of getting things instantly, is messing with our minds. It affects our social, sex and romantic lives.

Specifically this aversion to dating can be seen on practically any college campus in this country. Casual sex and hookups are becoming more prevalent. Since college campuses are increasingly female, this gives men the upper hand. They have their pick of any dozens of women. Thus there is a competition among women for men rather than the other way around. This change in dynamic decreases intimacy and, therefore, the need for relationships.

There’s no dating because women have inadvertently negated the need for it. For every woman that will make a guy work for it, there’s another woman around the corner giving it away for free. Thus the problem perpetuates. Think of the proverbial lion hunting its prey. Which is he willing to go for, the limping gazelle of the pack or the ones harder to get?

But there is another surprising trend amount college age students. Even though hookups are running rampant across campuses, so is chastity. The National Center for Health Statistics indicates that the a large percentage of student’s male and female, ages 18-24, are increasingly staying virgins! It’s a paradox.

However ‘hookups’ can include everything but the home run or ‘all the way’ kind of sex. This depends on whom you ask, but the typical twenty something would agree. So promiscuity and staying a virgin can be done. It also is a form of avoiding commitment in some cases. Sex is a commitment for some people (especially women), and they won't just do it with anyone and everyone. But nowadays having a little fun until you do decide to take that leap and have sex is perfectly acceptable.

Dating is also considered too much of a hassle. On major college campuses especially, the population is made up students from all over the country. It is probable to meet someone from across the country. The thought of a long distance relationship when school is out, which includes internships, going abroad or graduating, is a scary thought for most, if not all of us. So it is more convenient to hook up with multiple people without strings attached.

However it is hindering our ability to have meaningful relationships with people. According to a study out of Binghamton University, that is researching hook-ups, “this general lack of dating means many young adults don’t even know how to get a relationship started.”

It can be argued that hooking up is different kind of relationship. Not the ones our parents and grandparents knew of when they were twenty. Back then ‘hanging out’ meant just that. They would go to the soda-shop or the arcade (I’m setting the scene here) and date. Now when a guy, or a girl in some instances, say ‘lets hang out’ he or she probably doesn’t intend on seeing a movie.

This kind of relationship is new and evolving and we are learning and making up the rules as we go. We tend to keep things vague and unassuming as well. To say we ‘hook up’ leaves much to the imagination and that ambiguity is purposeful. This way by keeping it cryptic we can exaggerate or conceal our actions from others. In addition, this is in step with increasing noncommittal tendencies. We don’t even have to commit to our actions.

Photo Source - The Paper Wall

Arianna Wright-Diaz | Elite.