From Hooking Up To Dating: The Pre & Post Grad Culture

by Ashley Fern

Partying at a local dive bar in college basically guarantees you at least a blowy; however, in the real world it takes more than one mind eraser to seal the deal. The way your post grad relationship progresses will vastly differ from your college years. The real world offers a variety of challenges that were dormant during your school experience.

In college, a guy would ask what sorority I was in, but in the real world, he asks what I want to do with my life. This is an entirely different sport. So far gone are the days of sex first, questions later. Adulthood is time for maturity and depth.

There is a lot more pressure to go on actual dates in the “real world” as opposed to college where smoking sessions counted as dates. In college, relationships revolved around making out at a frat or a bar then simply going home together -- and now that college is over, everyone is trying to adjust to life as a “real person.” College is already a stressful environment and hectic time of life. Dating takes time, commitment and energy, and for many students, these traits are lacking.

Guys can’t get away with being the douchey frat stars they once were in college. “Come over and watch a movie” is no longer a practical option. Men are forced suddenly to act chivalrously and ask women out on dates, if they don’t want to run the risk of losing consideration.

Having guilt free, unemotional, casual sex in college makes you the typical college kid, engaging in this type of behavior outside the classroom evidently makes you a scumbag in society’s eyes.

So on any given night out, how do you tell who wants what? A former classmate of mine recently told me it took him two months of courting to get his prospect to sleep with him. He was in disbelief since all it used to take were a few shots and the exchange of slurred come-ons.

Hooking up with a girl post grad does not carry the same connotations it once did. Nobody gives a sh*t whether you got ass last night or not. Life is no longer measured by the notches on your bedpost but by the zeros at the end of your paycheck.

The ways in which relationships are defined in the post grad world are extremely vague and confusing in comparison. In college, people would typically announce their partnership through Facebook statuses so everyone knew who belonged to whom. In the real world, things are much less defined.

How many times must you sleep with someone before they become your significant other? Does that even guarantee the forming of such a relationship or is it just sex? I’ve been hooking up with the same person since September and not once have we attempted to define what it was. We are both comfortable and happy with the situation. It is the perfect transitional arrangement from college into the real world.

How does that saying go again? Less love, more sex, no calls, just texts, new boy, no ex, more sleep, no stress.

In college, chances are you met while out one night at a bar or a fraternity; in the real world it’s all about blind dates, mutual friend connections and dating websites. Not saying you can’t go out and meet someone on your own merit, it is just more difficult to do so when the focus of your life is your job rather than your drinking habits.

Relationships that do exist in college focus on priorities that gravely differ from that of the post grad world. Money, an ever-present factor in the real world, does not usually drive collegiate-based relationships. Additionally, family interaction is kept at a minimum since the relationship is secluded in a scholastic bubble.

College has gone from the place to meet your spouse to where you plan your future. The main focus of this generation is to prepare for careers and grad school. Relationships are put on the back burner while academia is at the forefront. University then becomes a place for networking and making friends; dating is what happens after you’ve settled into your career path.

Amanda Redwood | Elite.