The Difference Between Lust and Love

by Robert Anthony

What we are referring to in this article is the honeymoon (lust) stage of the relationship. This is the point where lust overwhelms every other aspect of the relationship and the novelty and passion blinds you from noticing any flaws in your partner. Unfortunately, this "blindness" contributes to many poorly calculated decisions regarding the longevity of your relationship with this new lover.

The honeymoon stage is the stage that captivates us all, setting the foundation for the relationship and creating unmatchable feelings of happiness, lust, and passion. This period is the first few months of a relationship, where you and your lover become acquainted and begin to learn about each other. You approach a level of elation that borders on delusion and the rush of dopamine in your brain convinces you that she indeed is the one for you.  You, my friend, are a victim to your excessive lust.

The problem with many modern day relationships is they are rooted in feelings of lust instead of love, compassion, and mutual understanding. Our sex driven society suggests that it is logical to quickly bed potential significant others; however, when relationships are based in lust instead of love and understanding they are almost always bound for failure. Elite, you're in for a tragic series of brutal breakups.

What many forget is that men have horrid attention spans and quickly tire of a partner. A significant portion of men will get bored of a female after the first 3 months of the relationship. This leads to a series of unscrupulous acts that ultimately results in cheating.

Many need to recognize the difference between the lust driven honeymoon stage and true love. Our acclimation to instant gratification has had drastic negative effects on our ability to discern legitimate relationships from frivolous flings. Our standards have become extremely low while our desire for satisfaction becomes increasingly higher. Now more then ever we are spoiled with the speed of life as everything is prepared to be given to us at light speed thus as men we love to rush into things without processing it logically.

When we finally meet a half decent girl who isn’t outwardly promiscuous we fall head over heels due to the rarity of girls of her kind and the convenience of the situation. It is unfortunately all too common that we mistake lust for love--at times in the hope that the former will transform into the latter.

The true test of discerning love from lust is whether or not you have a desire to cuddle with her after sex. If so, it's love. Lust will send you packing as soon as the deed is done.

Mistaking lust for true love is a huge mistake that many make, and when they do, the consequences are endless. Not only have you placed the feelings of the lovely female into jeopardy, but now you have also befuddled yourself beyond belief after falling for a girl over pure sexual attraction.

Why do we fall victim this lust? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. Your brain floods with dopamine and two chemicals that promote emotional attachment--oxytocin and vasopressin. MRI scans demonstrate that the same area lights up when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction as when an addict gets a fix of cocaine. Also, in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, your feelings are furthered by idealization and projection--you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be--rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all.

This lust causes what can arguably be deemed temporary insanity and causes a rise in extremely uncharacteristic behavior.


You're totally focused on a person's looks and body. You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations. You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings. You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning. You are lovers, but not friends.


You want to spend quality time together other than sex. You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing. You want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy. He or she motivates you to be a better person. You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.

Lust is short-term fun; love is the long haul. Even though the two sometimes masquerade as each other, you should be able to tell the difference. The real trick is in deciding what you want... and that's up to you. Gentlemen, don’t rush into anything and ponder all the pros and cons before you fully commit yourself to dating a female. This commitment entails tremendous responsibilities that your lust driven partnership won't be able to endure. Trust us, an angry girlfriend is the last headache you want.