Guys, getting tested for STDs is important. It's one of the quickest, easiest ways to remove anxiety from any sexual situation and send you and your partner on the smooth-sailing, safe-sex ship... you know, the best ship to be on.
According to Asha Sexual Health, one in two sexually active people will contract an STD by the age of 25. And those odds are, like, pretty high.
It is way, way better to learn if you have an STD early on, so you can seek treatment and move on with your life, rather than crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.
Plus, it saves you a very uncomfortable conversation down the road.
And getting tested also doesn't have to be a big deal. Seriously.
I used to go for fun on weekends when it was free at my college's clinic. "Yes, I'd like a coffee, a bagel, and a quick, little vaginal swab please!"
But if you're nervous or anxious about it, here are a few ways you and your partner can making getting tested for STDs a fun, goofy, easy-breezy experience.
Wear matching outfits, like Hawaiian t-shirts or jerseys.
This is a super playful way to crack each other (and the nurses) up and release any tension.
Plus, it is a foolproof way to make you guys the most fun people in the waiting room — trust me.
Make yourselves a massive, sugary breakfast from your childhood dreams.
You know that scene in "Elf" where Will Ferrell dumps maple syrup on everything? You know what? Why not do that?
You're about to spend your afternoon getting poked in the genitals, so you might as well treat yourself to some awesome pancakes and french toast, and get hyped up on all that sugar.
CLINIC, HERE YOU COME.
Get drunk afterward.
Let's be real; you earned it. Plan a happy hour or drinking game with you boo-bunny afterward, and blow off some of that steam.
If I knew I had a free pass to let loose and go wild after getting tested, I'd do it every week!
Treat yourselves to something you never do.
What's something you guys always talk about doing, but never do? Go do that.
Maybe that's just going to the movies, or maybe it's planning a weekend getaway. Whatever it is, reward yourselves for being safe, smart, kind lovers, and do something nice for yourselves!
Snapchat each other from the doctor's room with hilarious filters.
Can't stress this one enough. The more you can down play the situation, the better. So if that means sending your loved one a photo of you lying in stirrups looking like a deer in headlights, so be it.
Plus, it's a great distraction from all the weird, swabby thingies.
Make a "NO STDs!" playlist, and blast it on the way to get tested.
I know this sounds stupid. That's because it is, and that's the whole point.
Get yourselves pumped with some "punny" songs that could relate to your day, and sing together in the car on your way to the doc's office.
Some great song suggestions are "I'm Sexy and I Know It," "Applause" and "No Scrubs." Think about it.
Make it a couples health day.
Use today as a way to celebrate your awesome bodies together. Take a fitness class, eat healthy and slow down in the evening.
Then, call yourselves superheroes because you literally killed it today.
HAVE SAFE SEX, DUH!
This is the best kind of sex to have! Reward yourselves with some good, old-fashioned boning, you minxes.
Ugh, you guys are so cool.