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Here Are 6 Fantasy-Inspired Dragon Dildos

Confession time: I've always been a little curious as to what it would be like to engage in sexual relations with a dragon (a female dragon ONLY, of course).

I don't know, dragons are pretty powerful creatures. Having sex with one would probably be super terrifying, BUT it would definitely make for some interesting content for my pending memoir.

(If you don't believe that the dragon fetish is a real thing, look it up.)

But I have yet to meet a dragon who is willing to have sex with me, sadly. Maybe someone can create an app for girls like me who are looking for hot dragons to hook up with?

I just want to be a majestic khaleesi with a wild band of dragons, OK?!

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Anyway, lucky for me, I DID find the next best thing: dragon ~dildos~, baby.

Ladies, gents, wild unicorns and everyone in between, I proudly present to you: The Bad Dragon sex toy company. Bad Dragon is a collection of fantasy-inspired sex toys that'll have your head reeling with plenty of "Game of Thrones" fantasies.

They have an entire line of colorful, dragon-like dildos for all the dragon-fetishizing peeps out there!

I was blinded by the strange beauty of these toys (which you can purchase here). And while there are many, many dragon dildos on their site, here are my very special picks. Enjoy!

"Dragon's Tongue"

Bad Dragon

Dragons have mighty big tongues, it turns out! And they can do more than just, uh, lick you.

"Crackers the Cockatrice"

Bad Dragon

This one kind of scares me because all of the textures make my OCD flare up, but they're still beautiful works of art.

"Ika"

Bad Dragon

Oh, those ~tentacles~ would feel pretty, pretty good, don't you think, kinky kittens?

"Hanns the Mandrake"

Bad Dragon

Stunning. Almost like a beautiful flower in the process of blooming.

"Kelvin the Ice Dragon"

Bad Dragon

Perfect for cold-hearted ice queens like me!

"The Ridgeback"

Bad Dragon

I love a pastel color palette. Something about it just seems virginal and pure, don't you think?

One of my favorite things about these gorgeous dildos is that each one comes with its own special, detailed dragon story! Woohoo!

So not only do you get a dragon toy, but you also get to learn about the particular dragon's ~history~. Talk about "Dragon Tales," am I right?

This is perfect for dragon novices like you and me. (I'm projecting because I'm slightly embarrassed to be alone in this fetish.)

Most of the toys come in multiple sizes and are priced between $50 and $90. Like everything this world, the prettier and more ornate the dildo, the more money it costs.

But hey, you can't really put a price on an experience as enthralling as fucking a dragon, right?