5 Self-Destructive Things You Will Regret Doing After A Breakup
As if the relationship in and of itself wasn't enough, we sometimes simply have to perform that long list of mistakes even after it's all been said and done.
You can get all the self-proclaimed, "expert" advice from your friends that you want, but here are five things you just shouldn't do once you and your ex call it quits:
1. You immediately hop into bed with someone else.
I know they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, but that isn't always the case.
Sure, you may feel the need to take an interest in someone else in order to help you forget about the past, but rushing into a sexual relationship with the next person you see can lead you down a problematic path.
One minute, you're casually hanging out. Then, all of a sudden, you're staring at your phone with tears in your eyes, wondering why someone has taken more than four minutes to respond to your text message.
If it happens, it happens. Sexual frustration is indeed a bitch.
But if you're emotionally on the rocks, it might be best to get to know yourself better, rather than get to know someone else.
2. You try to get revenge.
If your ex-lover caused you a great deal of pain during or after the course of your relationship, it may seem like the right idea to return the favor.
But it's not.
We often try to make our exes' lives a living hell.
We might tell the ex's mother about the time we were left stranded at the bar. We may harass the new love interest via Facebook or even do some festive decorating in the ex's car.
Although it may feel good at first, trust me: You are only doing more harm to yourself.
Holding on to grudges is not good for the soul.
By doing so, you hinder yourself from growing and moving on with your life.
Take your losses and keep moving. No one is worth your peace.
3. You get way too comfortable sitting in your feelings.
At first, you're probably going to be miserable.
Tears may come at random, the amount of times you consume alcohol may triple and you may no longer have the desire to go out as much as you used to.
That's okay. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and grieve for a little while.
But if it has now been months and you still find yourself crying at the mention of your ex's name, it's time for you to get it together.
I know it can be difficult, but you've got to let it go.
4. You continue to bang your ex.
What you don't want to do is play yourself.
If you're the person who got broken up with, your ex might feel like the ball is in his or her court.
Even if your ex doesn't want to be with you, he or she still might want to have sex with you.
Since breaking up wasn't your idea in the first place, he or she might figure you would be all for it.
This is not a good idea.
You've never seen confusion quite like that of a couple which is no longer a couple, but still acts like a couple.
On the other side of things, you might feel like sleeping with your ex will keep him or her around and eventually bring the two of you back together.
5. You try to force your way back in.
Imagine you're the square and your ex is the circle.
No matter how many times you try to force your way in, you have to accept you may never get there.
If your ex has been adamant about leaving you in the past, pick a comfortable spot in it, baby. Chances are, you'll be there for a while.
If there's even a small chance of mending the relationship, it's not going to happen with you hovering all over it.
I know they say you have to work for the things you want, but sometimes, work requires you doing nothing at all.