What To Do When You See Your Ex's New Fling
Have you ever had that horrible thing happen to you where you walk into a party and then your ex suddenly walks in with their new fling, and you're sort of like, "Wow, I feel like I'm dying?"
No? Lucky. Yes? Justin Bieber feels you.
Apparently Justin Bieber will NOT be attending the Grammys if ex Selena Gomez plans to go with her new boo, The Weeknd.
God, being a celebrity is so tough.
Of course, not all of us have the good fortune of easily skipping out on huge events in our lives just because people we don't want to see are going to be there.
Sometimes, you just have to put your big girl panties on and go to the party... (or wedding, or reunion, or whatever big event might make it impossible for you to say no).
If you know you'll be coming face to face with your ex's new fling, there are few things you can do to prepare. Here is how you can prep for this super uncomfortable encounter.
Sometimes, you just have to put your big girl panties on and go to the party.
First, nobody panic!
Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
You've heard the rumors by now, and the hard part is already over. You KNOW they're together, but seeing them together IRL could be difficult, and it's best to expect the worst and hope for the best.
Luckily, you had time to prepare for this and have one up on the tragedy of running into them unexpectedly.
Practice calming your nerves at home.
Maybe look at a photo of the two of them together (depends on how much you can take!) and imagine walking into the room and seeing them there. Now, picture yourself smiling.
Ridiculous, I know, but it breaks the tension you — and they — are probably expecting. It might even cause some genuine, albeit uncomfortable, laughter. (Because, let's be real, this situation is fucking ridiculous.)
Also, practice breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. This will calm any fight-or-flight responses and help keep you clear your head when the time comes.
Practice taking the high road.
You will never, ever, EVER regret taking the high road. (Michelle Obama says so, and Michelle Obama is never wrong.)
You may be tempted to throw some anger, resentment or just plain cruelty their way. And honestly, maybe they deserve that. Still, how amazing would it be for you to keep your cool and remain civil in an otherwise pretty volatile situation?
Here are a few phrases you can meditate on that are GREAT responses in case you have to speak to them: "Good to see you." "Have a great night." "Hope all is well." "Have fun."
Keep these in your pocket and repeat them over and over to yourself if you have to.
This will demonstrate that not only are you doing better than people might guess post-breakup, but it will also show that you have a ton of strength and class — two super enviable things that will surely make your ex raise their eyebrows.
Honestly? It's OK to avoid thinking about it/talking about it/feeling feelings about it.
Look, if you're the type of person that buries your feelings deep, deep down and avoids them like the plague, in the case of potentially running into your ex's new fling, that can be a good thing.
Sometimes, our problems become bigger the more we dwell on them, and if the thought of seeing your old flame with his/her new fire makes you want to rip your eyes out and use them as weapons, you know what? Don't think about it.
Instead, amp yourself up for all the positives about the night. What are you going to wear? Who else are you looking forward to seeing? Focus on the parts of the evening you would enjoy WITHOUT them being there, and redirect your attention to those things anytime the nerves start to pop up.
No harm. No foul.
Remember nothing is forever.
Whenever I have to do something I don't want to do, my mom always tells me, "You can do anything for 10 minutes."
Think of this night or event as a series of 10 minutes. Just focus on getting through a few moments at a time, and worry about the next 10 minutes after that.
Hot tip: Sometimes, if I'm really nervous about something, I'll pretend I'm that little girl from the movie "The Help" and repeat to myself "You is smart. You is kind. You is important."
BUT, YA KNOW, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
Just focus on getting through the next few moments, and worry about the next 10 minutes after that.
Always remember, if Justin Bieber could survive his teenage years, you can survive anything. Good luck, and good night.