The Perfect Time To Reveal Intimate Details To Your New Love Interest
It's official, the holiday season is in full swing.
People are shedding pounds from their Thanksgiving feasts and gearing up for Hannukah, Christmas and New Year's.
Singles are spending more time with family and close friends, and feeling the added pressure to find someone special.
You are either seeing all your friends flaunting their new engagement rings at the dinner table, or have your mom or grandma nagging you to tie the knot already.
It should be no surprise that this time of the year also marks the biggest spike in online dating, which hits its peak the Sunday following New Year's.
According to a recent Zoosk survey, one in five singles are prioritizing love this New Year's, which explains why we see an 18 percent increase in registrations the first week of January compared to the week of Christmas.
After swiping and finding that special someone to go on a date with, people often get nervous about when to reveal intimate details.
In any new relationship, figuring out the right amount to self-disclose can feel like walking the plank.
You don't know what you say will trigger the captain and his crew to prod you further away from safety.
Share stories about your past too soon, it may be inappropriate and you'll come off as desperate. Wait too long to share to talk about why your last ex dumped you, and you can be perceived as being distant or standoffish.
It's hard to know when the moment is just right to self-disclose.
You have to balance the slippery slope of sharing too much or too little, according to every stage in the relationship.
Los Angeles-based therapist Dr. Nancy Irwin suggests:
Trust yourself to know when the right time is to share intimate information. Pay no attention to the 'rules of thumb' and trust yourself to know when the new potential mate is genuinely interested and concerned about you as a unique human being vs. sorting and deleting you like data.
So to help singles navigate love through the busiest time of year for dating, Zoosk surveyed over 5,000 members to determine the best time for disclosing intimate details about themselves during a relationship.
It looked at preferences for sharing everything from allergies to sexual fetishes.
In fact, Zoosk's survey found that contrary to popular belief, men want to lock relationships down sooner than women and revealing certain details upfront, like pets and food preferences, can greatly affect your response rate when online dating.
Below find a snapshot of the disclosure guide timeline highlighting key stats from the survey:
Talking about past relationships usually doesn't have a happy ending.
But if you share them at the appropriate time and in the correct manner “you'll be disclosing important information about yourself that a date who is serious about a relationship will appreciate and use to decide whether or not the two of you are compatible,” says relationship expert April Masini.
Be confident and courteous and disclose at the appropriate time.
And remember, NEVER compare your ex to your current partner.