Better Smart Than Sorry: Be A Realist, Not A Hopeless Romantic

by Meghan Breitner

We all hope to experience the lifelong tale that begins with, “Once upon a time.”

We watch Nicholas Sparks' books turn into movies, and we eventually obsess over someday finding our very own “Prince Charming” or “Cinderella.”

Let’s just face it: We all anticipate and long for fairy tale endings.

It’s not just that we crave the perfection of boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, they get married, reside in a house with a white picket fence and live happily ever.

We want the sugarcoated version of love and romance that Hollywood movies and productions urge us to believe.

Some of us, on the other hand, are not so naïve.

There are hopeless romantics in the world, those who believe God made that perfect person to be their other half.

They believe somewhere out there, at the perfect moment, their soulmate will burst into their life and everything will make sense. They view the world differently; they’re optimistic and a bit gullible when it comes to love.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are what I like to call “realists.” It’s not that we don’t hope for our Prince Charming to come find us in glistening, illuminated gold carriages.

We just realize life isn't a fairy tale and Prince Charming's carriage is most likely stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire.

We catch the flaws and feel the bumps on the road instead of only seeing what we want to believe.

I’m proud to say I’m a “realist.” It’s not that I was born without the “romance” gene, but previous encounters have made me the person I am today.

It’s not that I don't necessarily want love, either. I just don’t see eye-to-eye with people who are hopeless romantics.

Maybe I'm just afraid of falling in love and having my heart broken or maybe I’ve seen the painful parts of relationships too many times to believe your true “soulmate” exists.

Being real with dating, love and relationships makes life easier because you don't hold high standards for what love needs to be.

You're content with yourself. You know you don't need a person to complete you, and you just want someone to complement your life with an abundance of happiness.

Realists view love and the world differently, and here are a few reasons why:

We Catch The Bullsh*t.

After you “forget to call” or have suspicious text messages on your phone, we don’t listen to the bullish*t excuses as to why your coworker Susie is asking for work-related help at 1 am.

When things don’t add up, we are the first to question it and the last to put up with it.

We Don’t Expect You To Be Prince Charming Because We Sure Aren’t Cinderella.

Listen, you don’t need to fly us to Paris for a date or buy us expensive jewelry to show your affection.

We just want you to watch a movie with us, buy us some food, sit in the silence with us or simply be there when nobody else is.

The smallest things mean the world to a “realist.”

We Want Easy, Not Hard.

Despite what movies portray, we don’t want a challenging, painful relationship that is apparently supposed to transfer over into “passion.”

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. Fighting and bickering isn’t beautiful, passionate or romantic. It’s a pain in the ass.

We don’t want a relationship where constant fighting is the ultimate sign of romance.

We want a relationship as simple as eating pizza in our pajamas and telling each other our deepest, darkest secrets.

This isn’t a Hollywood movie set. Rain won't magically come pouring down when I run up to you after three days of not speaking to each other due to a horrid dispute.

When Things Fail, It’s Not The End Of The World.

When Mr. Perfect turns out to be the exact opposite of perfection, we don’t feel as though the world is crashing down.

Most likely, we already saw it coming. We know the end of something before it happens because we can read the signs.

We are aware of failures and setbacks, and we don’t focus on the negatives in the situation.

Clearly, if your relationship isn’t working out, then that person was not meant for you.

We're Already Too In Love With Ourselves To Need Anybody Else.

Isn't the saying you have to love yourself before you love somebody else? These words could not be any truer.

How can you expect to fall in love with another human being without knowing your own self-worth first? It is impossible.

In love, you do not need another human being to complete you. You are already complete on your own.

Like I said earlier, it’s not that we hate, despise or degrade others who adore love. We're just smart about it.

We don’t easily put our hearts on the line, and we continue keeping it in one piece, not a million broken ones.