Relationships

These Are The Real Reasons Your Long-Term Boyfriend Hasn't Proposed Yet

by Jen Glantz
Irina Efremova

There's no rulebook or strategy when it comes to dating someone and knowing the right time to finally pop the question and seal the deal with them.

You could date for three months before getting a burn in your stomach that lets you know to hold onto this person because they are the best you're ever going to get. You could date for six years and feel too chill about making any sudden move to promise them a lifetime together forever.

Since there's no right time, right place or right moment in a relationship for a boyfriend to ask his SO if they are in it to win it, how do you know when to do it?

Some guys don't. Instead, some boyfriends in long-term relationships don't have the urge to pop any question except, “where do you want to eat for dinner tonight?”

If you're wondering why that could be, check out what these 10 guys confess are the reasons why they haven't asked their long-term girlfriends to marry them.

1. I'm not really ready.

I've been with my girl for four years now. It seems like a really long time. It is. But I'm not sure I'm ready to get married right now and take things to the next level. We are both only 24 so it's weird to me that we'd be married before we could even rent a car.

-- Brendon W., 24

2. Why complicate things?

I've seen what marriage does to relationships. All my friends from college got married in their twenties. They all found such sweet girls and then when they got married to them, everything got stale and lame. Marriage made things harder for them. I love my girlfriend. We've been together since 2007, which is a long time and everything, but I just don't want to ruin the good stuff we have with marriage like they did.

-- John F., 35

3. The perfect moment will come.

I want to get married but I haven't figured out how to propose. I want that moment to be perfect. I want it to be in a way that she wants. But every time I get close to setting a date to do it and planning how I am going to do it, I freak out and decide to procrastinate. That's what it is. I'm procrastinating because I'm a little nervous I'll screw the whole thing up.

-- Matty J., 28

4. I don't have time or money.

Weddings are expensive and take up so much time to put together. It's like we've already lived together for over three years now and we're just trying to work hard at our own careers that we, or I at least, feel like a wedding right now would just be such a stressor on ourselves and our bank accounts.

-- Kyle P., 29

5. I'm kind of keeping my options open.

I've been in a long relationship with my girlfriend for close to three years now. I love her, don't get me wrong. But a part of me, a very small part, is kind of keeping my options open. Like, I don't know for sure if she's the one and I don't want to get a divorce later on. If, in a few years from now, I'm 100 percent sure she's the girl forever, I'll make it official.

-- Scott B., 26

6. She's not into the idea of marriage.

It's weird with us because I'm all about getting married but my girlfriend is not about that at all. She's pretty beat up from her parent's recent divorce, so about a year into our relationship she made it clear that marriage is not on her cards and that I shouldn't even bother proposing.

-- Vinny N., 25

7. IDK, I haven't thought about it.

Everyone asks me this question about when I'm going to propose. The truth is, I don't know. I never think about it. I just like being girlfriend/boyfriend. Maybe if she tries to break up with me or give me a marriage ultimatum, I'll propose. But until then, it just doesn't cross my mind ever, unless someone asks.

-- Tom S., 27

8. We're still in an LDR.

We've been dating for four years but three of those years have been her living in Toronto and me living in California. I don't see marriage in our cards until we at least live in the same country.

-- Gregg L., 28

9. None of my bros are married.

I know a lot of people in the South rush into marriage in their early twenties but my friends and I are all in our late twenties and from New Jersey. None of us are married. I'm the only one with a long-term girlfriend. It's just not something we're looking to do in our twenties. Maybe it's something I'll think seriously about when I'm in my thirties.

-- Brett H., 28

10. I don't see the point.

Why does marriage make a relationship official? I've been with my girlfriend for six years and I've been living with her for four. We have a great relationship and we both don't see the point in getting married because we know nothing will change.

-- Landon B., 32