What To Ask Yourself If You Don't Want To Celebrate Valentine's Day
So Valentine's Day is right around the corner and you've got your very own BAE. You know you should be excited, but instead, you're... well, you're just not.
You're not alone. Elite Daily's Valentine's Day reader survey found that there are lots of millennials (28 percent of women and 35 percent of men) who feel apathetic towards the most romantic day of the year.
But how can you tell if your lack of excitement is symbolic of a bigger issue with your relationship or if it's NBD?
I talked to Dr. Niloo Dardashti, a psychologist and relationship expert in New York City, to figure out how to get to the bottom of this issue.
Dr. Dardashti explains it really all boils down to one simple question: Have you always felt this way about Valentine's Day with other people and in general?
Have you always felt that way about Valentine's Day with other people and in general?
Your answer to that one simple question will tell you everything:
If your answer is a simple "yes"...
If you've never been a big Valentine's Day person, don't sweat it.
Dr. Dardashti explains, "Then, you know that it's about the holiday," as opposed to you having a real problem with your partner.
Just because you're in love, doesn't mean you have to start being excited about celebrating a holiday you were never excited to celebrate in the first place.
Moreover, your unwillingness to celebrate the holiday doesn't make you any less in love with your partner.
If your answer is "no," and everything in life is going well...
If your answer to the question is "no" (in other words, you have enjoyed Valentine's Day in the past), don't go assuming your relationship is on its way out quite yet.
Dr. Dardashti explains there is a caveat here. Having external problems going on outside of your relationship like "your family being sick or having just lost a job or something very stressful" can get in the way of your wanting to celebrate V-Day with your BAE.
Simply put, you might just not be in the mood... and that's perfectly FINE.
That being said, if you don't have anything else going on, it might be a sign of a bigger issue within your relationship:
If notoriously you've felt like you wanted to celebrate it with other people, and you felt into it and sort of interested in the whole thing until now [and there are no extenuating circumstances keeping you from feeling like celebrating right now], then it calls for a reflection in the relationship — whether there's something you're not feeling in the relationship that you're not really addressing.
In short, don't go freaking out just because you don't feel like celebrating Valentine's Day with your BAE.
It doesn't mean you love the person any less. It could just mean you don't really like the holiday or that you have other things going on in your life that are more pressing to you right now.
But if neither of those things are true, then maybe it is time to explore what in your relationship is keeping you from wanting to celebrate.