I can’t begin to tell you how many times I've heard my friends and family say that I am playing "hard to get" because I haven’t had a boyfriend in (insert ridiculous number of years here). While that statement is partially true, I like to think of it more as playing “worth our time.”
In an age when people never seem to stop moving and where climbing the career ladder is idolized, our time is precious. I try to be courteous of the other person's time. If I know after the first date that you’re simply not the one, I won't waste anyone’s time and emotions with a second date.
Yes, that may be a little cold-hearted, but I would rather use my time in other ways than by forcing feelings that will never be where they need to be. As we get older, time seems to move faster than ever. We all have bucket lists of things we want to do and see, and as time passes, it gets harder and harder to check things off the list.
As a 22-year-old, I barely have enough time in the day to have the life I want to have. Life doesn’t really start until 5 pm. Actually, make that 6, by the time I get out of traffic. Between the hours of 6 and 10 pm, I go to the gym, shower, make dinner, clean up after dinner, study for the GRE, try to make time to see a friend, maybe watch an episode of "New Girl" and get ready for the next day.
Playing hard to get simply isn’t in the schedule.
Millennials are selfish and we have every right to be. Society expects us to end world hunger, make peace with Iraq and retire by 40, all while inventing the next Facebook or Google.
Playing hard to get is playing a game. It’s a game of give and take, but mostly take. Individuals who play this game want attention and companionship. Instagramming pictures with your guy best friend and hoping it will churn the stomach of your halfway-significant other is not cool. Don’t waste his time when clearly you’re not sure if you are interested or not.
Instead, spend that time doing something you love. Join a volunteer organization, become a part of a running club, spend more time with your family or travel the world. The saying goes “you find love when you least expect it.”
People who lead busy lives and have career goals are not mean people; they simply know what is important at a certain time and to what they want to dedicate their precious time. With all of the advances in medicine and technology, the average lifespan is increasing, allowing us more time to settle down later in life, after we feel like we have found individual success.
Look at Kelly Clarkson; the girl didn’t have a boyfriend for years. She was miss independent, miss self-sufficient and didn’t play games. In her own words, “We were always meant to say goodbye / Even with our fists held high / It never would have worked out right, yeah / We were never meant for do or die."
She met her now-husband, got engaged in 10 months and now has a super cute baby girl.
When the right person comes along, I’ll know the relationship is worth both of our time. When you have been single long enough to discover who you truly are and what you truly want, knowing when it staring you right in the face will hardly be difficult.
The next you time you go on a date with a nice person and everything seems to go well, but there is no spark, don’t be upset when that person denies your request for a second date. He or she is doing you both a favor by allowing you to have more time to do the things you enjoy most.
Stop playing games and use your time wisely. When it’s worth it, you’ll know.