Most men are bad at sex, much to the chagrin of women everywhere. What's worse is, they don't even realize it.
I have something that's somewhat scary to admit to you. I've actually kept it a secret for quite a while because the right time has never really come up to say it.
After 10 years of coaching, I can tell exactly which guys seriously lack bedroom skills by the way they talk. The crazy part is, they don't even realize what they're revealing. Here are five stunningly trustworthy signs a guy is bad in bed:
1. They'll use phrases like "seal the deal."
This betrays a belief system that sees the sex act as the focus in and of itself, and the woman as merely a means to an end. For what it's worth, salespeople with a similar mindset toward "prospects" and commission are usually not crushing it out there either.
2. They talk about how little they care about women.
I once heard a guy say out loud, "Yeah, put a bag over their heads and bend 'em over, and they're all the same." Of course, such a statement is breathtakingly ignorant at every level, even physiologically. The truly terrifying part is the raw lack of sexual experience the guy was wearing on his sleeve, all the while thinking he was looking cool.
3. "Everyone knows that porn is nothing like real sex."
This depends on what you're watching, of course. Some of it is unrealistic, while there's no denying a lot of it is outside of what most people fantasize about. But the most popular adult content out there (look it up) is focused on reasonably attractive, sexy people really giving it to each other good.
Sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but those wild, screaming, dirty talking, long-lasting, multiple orgasms, sex kitten shenanigans really do happen, and it's often a lot like how it looks on video. But that's only the case if you make it happen, and only if she's loving every minute of it.
4. "Women don't like sex."
I've come to the conclusion that men who have this limiting belief might not want to have their minds changed. The truth is, it'd be too much of a hit to their egos at this point. The tragic part is that flipping that one simple mindset around is absolutely key to seeing one's sexual reality follow suit.
5. "I've never had any complaints."
Few women have the heart to openly blast your sexual skill before your very eyes. If they say nothing or give decidedly tacit approval to the "adequate" Woody Allen sex the two of you just had, that probably means it wasn't exactly a mind-numbing, toe-curling experience.
When it's good, she's clearly into it. I'd dare say shy, introverted or even angry women can't simply lie there during amazing sex. If it's great, it's obvious. Afterward, she's glowing, giggling and going on non-stop about how incredible you are.
Then she goes on non-stop to her friends, but only during those off moments when she's not coming back for more.
OK, gentlemen, I fully realize I'd better put my fire suit on because I'm about to hear lots of protests.
Some of you are going to need to protest. After all, the alternative to me being wrong about this is more than some can bear, especially if they've proudly gone around talking as I've described over the years.
But seriously, I'm on point here. It's important to know that nearly 100 percent of all men miss out on great sex. This is absolutely one of those cases where proclaiming, "tens of millions of men can't be wrong" is pure rubbish.
For more relationship and dating advice from Scot McKay, visit X & Y Communications.