5 Reasons To Give Your Fling The Chance To Develop Into A Real Thing
Everyone has, at some point, had a "fling" with someone, whether it was exclusive, a mutual-friend-turned-cuddle-buddy or someone you made out with when you had a bit too much to drink.
We have all been there.
But most of the time, one side feels and expresses the desire for something more (which is the danger with flings).
Usually, this results in awkwardness, pain and the separation of the two individuals.
If you ask me, there might be reason to give that fling another try. Maybe the other person wasn't ready, or maybe you weren't ready.
There are reasons why we think about this person months later. Every experience we have only makes us better people, and flings are no exception.
They shape us into learning more about ourselves and those around us.
So, if you are given the opportunity, it might be worth mentioning a subtle interest in "flinging" again.
Here are five reasons why it might be worth the risk:
1. Time Matures People
Some say time makes the heart grow fonder. And, while that may not always be true, time does give people the opportunity to grow up.
Perhaps you weren't ready to move from a fling to the bling. But, those feelings toward that other person probably haven't abated for a reason.
Maybe you've had some time to focus on yourself and develop.
Maturity is always crucial within any relationship (fling or not), and time allows for that. Revisiting the idea could let you see the good that was staring you in the face all along.
2. You're Cautious And That's Good
We know it's comfortable to go back to the company of people who make us feel good.
Chances are (when you’re hurting from other relationship attempts), you'll send your old fling a quick text after seeing your ex at a bar or in a cute Instagram photo he posted.
The familiarity and safety you feel, in your mind, could help you to get past these other emotions.
While most say this may lead you to invent romantic feelings that don’t exist, have you considered how much more cautious you are now?
Stepping back into this situation guarded and reserved is good because it allows you (and the other person) to see if this is what you want.
It may lead you back into the arms of someone, and it may not. At least you walked in with lower expectations and higher levels of security.
That's not being closed-minded; it's simply being smart.
3. There Are Always Exceptions To The Rules
It’s true. There are exceptions to every rule: divorced couples reunite and high school sweethearts break up, but ultimately marry years later.
It happens. Why couldn't it be you?
While flings often don't carry the same weight as relationships, it's easier to start up conversations without feeling uncomfortable or awkward.
Depending on the context, exceptions could be more of the norm. Only you and the other person can decide what the fate of reuniting looks like.
4. You Realized You Moved Too Fast
If you look back on when you two were together and it is obvious you rushed it, that could be a good sign. It all comes back to time, the healer of wounds.
Maybe I'm a big optimist when it comes to relationships, but I'm a firm believer that sometimes, you simply needed new brakes.
If you look at each other and life is the same as it was when things ended, it's probably not a good idea.
Don't be fooled. There are innocent examples of one person forcing something that wasn't there, resulting in the other to resist, disengage and walk away.
If who you are has changed and the person is also showing signs of growth, you two might be ready to "try, try again."
5. You Owe It To Yourself
Despite what people might say, what if — at the end of the day — you want to see if this fling could be something more?
You don’t need to justify your life choices to anyone but yourself. You never want to look back and have it be filled with “what ifs.”
You deserve to see if you want to pursue a past fling. Yes, there are warning signs, but life has many warning signs that often get proven wrong.
If you are always doing things to benefit other people, you can wind up feeling empty.
It’s okay to sometimes be a little selfish sometimes; it is easy to forget being selfish is necessary in certain situations.
At the end of the day, past flings seem to be straightforward, but in reality, they can be a little messy.
Humans are emotional beings, and there are times when we want things we don’t have. Often, we are told flings need to stay just that.
When they are done, it’s done. But who knows? Maybe that text message was intentional.
Perhaps your old fling's glance was more than what your friends thought.
Take a chance. Adventure is worthwhile.