The song is right: Breaking up is hard to do. And why wouldn't it be? Ending a relationship without hurting anyone is a seemingly impossible feat.
As much as you may want to ghost your ex and hit the road to better, happier trails, that's not how life works, my friend.
Breaking up without ruining your own life is actually possible. GASP! HOW!?
The key is to keep it real and tell it like it is. It sounds hard, but it really isn't.
Even when you're moving on to your cute new boo, try to remember the good times you shared. There was a reason you were a couple in the first place, you know?
Sure, you're going to upgrade to a better relationship in the future — and maybe you already have, shhhh — but this isn't the time or the place to disclose this information. Read the room, people!
Instead, stick with one of these seven amazingly original breakup lines that will help you move on without making your ex hate you.
The first trip to Mars is going to be scheduled soon, and I don't want you waiting for me.
This breakup line works because it's really hard to disagree with. How do you argue with a statement this...out there?
You know it's not going to work out, and this reasoning makes it seem like you're saving the other person time and pain.
The key is to make your ex think this was all his or her idea. You just want to explore space and check out the Solar System. Your ex is the mad genius — not you.
My dog doesn't like you and that just isn't right.
Stop making yourself miserable! When you're unhappy, you should say so because it's really the best thing for all parties involved. However, that doesn't mean that you have to be RUDE.
By blaming the end of this love story on your dog, you're implying that things are not working between you two without being too harsh. No one is to blame but the canine. It is what it is.
You're not just leaving something bad behind; this experience helped you move on to something better. Something even your dog can get behind. Who could be mad about that?
There is a difference between messy and dirty, and I'm breaking up with you over one of them. (I bet you can guess which.)
Okay, so maybe you already have a little somethin' somethin' on the side, but we're trying to avoid getting your car keyed. You have to be strategic, people!
When you ask your partner to guess whether he or she is messy or dirty, he or she will be too confounded to remember to be upset over the breakup.
This line is a seriously confusing truth bomb, and it's only like, 40 percent a lie.
You digitally cheated on me when you binge-watched our favorite shows alone.
At this point, I am not at all down with you anymore, and I don't even have a good reason.
In situations like this, you have to find any possible transgression and blow it majorly out of proportion. We've ALL binge-watched a show without our SO before, so this is the perfect wrong-doing to escalate.
Something is wrong and you can feel it in the pit of your stomach. And when that happens, it's okay to break it off. You can't just stick it out with someone you're not into.
You know this is just a stepping stone to a much better relationship. And maybe even a better show to binge-watch in the future.
You don't like my flawless taste in music.
Sometimes, it's not you, it is DEFINITELY the other person, and you GOTTA cut your SO loose. You don't want your reasoning to get too deep, so just blame it on the music. If he doesn't appreciate your playlists, it certainly wasn't meant to be.
This line helps you to communicate that the other person really is great — is he, though? — just not great for a relationship with you. You will both upgrade next time.
Or you will, at least!
The only thing I can commit to 100 percent is my love of Cajun fries.
The only thing you want to commit to right now is a ginormous order of Cajun fries, and that's okay.
Love means committing, and if you can't give it your all, the other person needs to be set free ASAP. This line shows that you are self-aware enough to know what you are capable of giving to this relationship.
In the end, your ex will appreciate the honesty. You'll come out smelling like roses. Or Cajun seasoning. One or the other.
You're too hot for me. Literally. I'm burning up when we hold hands.
If you really want to leave your ex with an awesome answer to the inevitable question, “So, why did you guys break up?” try this line on for size.
Okay, maybe you didn't suffer a first-degree burn because of the heat emitted from your soon-to-be ex's hand, but it's a good way to get out of the relationship. Plus, it allows your SO to save face and shorten the reasoning to "I was too hot for her." It's a win-win.
Now you can take all the lessons from this relationship and find someone so much better (and with a cooler body temperature).
Bye, Felicia. Enjoy your moment.
Compensation for this post was provided by CLEAR CARE® via Elite Daily. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of CLEAR CARE® or Elite Daily.