Jojo Jovanovic

Ladies, Here's Why You Really Should Message Guys First On Dating Apps

Today is International Women's Day, and what better way to celebrate that than to encourage women to get out there and take control of their dating lives?

That's right. OKCupid recently released some data about a woman's advantage in online dating. And it's wonderfully eye-opening.

According to OKCupid's research, most women do not send the first message. Straight women in particular are 3.5 times less likely than men to send the first message. And this isn't even because of how many messages straight women already have in their inboxes: Whether they have zero, 10 or 1,000 messages in there, they still won't initiate a message. Even AGE didn't matter in how frequently women message first. No matter how old a woman is, she will not send the first message.

Basically, we women are stubborn AF.

Despite this, OKCupid uncovered something super interesting. Both men AND women are "reachers," which means they tend to message people who are more attractive than they are. So if a straight woman doesn't message anyone, her inbox will be filled with messages from unattractive men, because men are "reaching" for women who are hotter than them.

HOWEVER, the game totally changes if a straight woman starts messaging.

If a straight woman messages a man, that man will most likely be more attractive than her (since everyone is a reacher). And OKCupid found that straight women are 2.5 times more likely than men to get a response if they initiate a conversation. So if a straight woman initiates a conversation, she will have way more conversations with way hotter guys.

To put some numbers behind it, OKCupid compiled numerical "attractiveness" levels based on a number of factors (NOT just what you look like, FYI -- they also take how interesting your profile is into account). Ladies, they found that if you wait for a man to message you, you will be flooded with messages from men who are 5.1 percentile points less attractive than you. But if you message a man first, he will be 6.6 percentile points MORE attractive than you.

Check out this chart:

Your stubbornness is forcing you to settle, and you are NOT EVEN REALIZING IT.

If you message first, you'll even get dates! OKCupid found that if a straight woman initiates a conversation, she has a 30 percent chance of turning that conversation into a date. If a man initiates a conversation, there's only a 12 percent chance that conversation will turn into a date. And that's true across all sexual orientations.

So it's time to stop buying into the idea that you need to be "chased." It's perfectly OK, and even beneficial, for you to reach out to a guy online. If you're too scared, just download Bumble so you're forced to.