Why I've Never Had A One-Night Stand At The Height Of Hook-Up Culture

by Brianna Shaw

I have a few friends who always tell me I don't know what I'm missing when it comes to one-night stands.  They tell me one-night stands are full of passion and lust. They say there's no better feeling than hooking up with a rando.

Besides the fact that they're starting to sound like broken records, they don't have to tell me any of this. I already know. Just because I have never done it doesn't mean I can't imagine how hot and amazing it would be.

However, I also know those crazy nights of passion are not for me. I'm sure there are many people like me. It doesn't matter whether you're a guy or a girl; one-night stands are for a certain type of people. Not everyone can get away with them.

First of all, I believe these nights are supposed to make you feel better. A one-night stand should boost your ego. Someone wants to spend the night with you, touch you, kiss you and make your head spin.

It should give you a release from all sorts of tension, and it should energize you for days. But, I'm the type of person who won't feel better afterward. I can't imagine feeling better after having an amazing, crazy, hot as hell moment with someone, but then practically high-fiving that person when he leaves the house.

I'm sorry for being "that person," but I f*cking love to cuddle and then pass out after having sex. I love waking up with the person who made my body explode just a few hours before.

Honestly, you have to like people a lot to give random people access to your private life like that. I'm not just talking about inviting someone you don't know into your house (which, to me, is already a thing). I'm obviously referring to your panties.

I'm not a prude. I can be naked and not care about who sees. I often forget to close my curtains, and I'm pretty sure my neighbors have gotten more peep shows than they bargained for. But, letting someone I met merely hours ago look at and touch that part of my body is something I can't allow.

I don't know you. I don't know where you've been, what kind of crazy sh*t you've been doing or whom you were doing this with just days (hours?) ago. I can't deal with the fact that I am one out of the many you do it with. There's literally nothing special about it.

Also, just because people like me don't like to hook up with randos doesn't mean we're unsocial, boring people. We can be extremely social. We can talk to anyone, and we always have a good time.

But, we appreciate our "me time" more than anything else. Unless you've caught my attention in other ways (beyond just the physical), I'm not sharing that precious time with you.

We often can't see sex and love as separate from each other. I try. I'd love to be able to, but I can't. Personally, the desire of wanting someone physically comes with the emotion of really liking him.

Now, for me, it's really simple: If I'm going to let you have your way with me, you have to deserve it. Treat me right in all respects, and we can have a lot of fun (like, a lot).

But, when you're hitting me up at a bar, smooth-talking and giving me compliments, I don't know if you're actually a good person or just trying to come across as one. What it comes down to is you have to be f*cking awesome to get with me. I won't know whether you are or not if we don't hang out first.

Lastly, to all the people on the other team: Don't make the mistake of thinking that people who don't do casual hookups are looking to get married and have tons of babies. We're really not.

We just prefer to have lots of sex with people we actually care about. That's all.