Read Between The Lines: If A Guy Doesn't Have Books, Don't F*ck Him

by Lauren Martin
We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't f*ck them. - John Waters

It’s a tough dating world out there.

We go home with guys hoping to make them family and usually only end up wishing we never introduced them to our family.

We think we know a guy, only to watch him turn into someone completely unknown, another stranger to pass on the street.

We try people on, ignore the signs, then act confused when they don’t turn out to be the people we expected. We act like we were blind sighted and completely unaware they were like that or weren’t like this.

I, myself, have turned a blind eye on too many bad signs; however, there is something I’ve learned never to look past -- his bookshelf.

OK, so it doesn’t have to be a bookshelf, but there must be a book, at least one. Because if I’ve gone home with someone who doesn’t read, well, what’s the point? Why start something I know won’t ever finish?

Why even pretend for a second someone without books is someone I want to get to know?

This isn’t just about the fact that a guy reads. It’s about the fact that he doesn’t travel, doesn’t explore and most definitely doesn’t understand humankind.

It’s because a guy who doesn’t read doesn’t have depth, empathy or any sense of reality.

Because if he doesn’t know how to use his words, he doesn't know how to use his tongue.

What’s a man without a mouth that can turn me on? What’s an ideal guy without the verbose language skills that can tickle my mind and my panties?

What’s the point in dating someone who really doesn’t know how to get under my skin?

Because he hasn't gotten the right education.

It doesn’t matter if he went to the best university in the country or he attended the finest boarding school in Massachusetts, he might as well be illiterate if he’s not reading.

How can you date someone who hasn’t learned any of the universal lessons that can only be taught through the priceless education only a classic novel can impart? Sorry to be a snob, but I expect better credentials.

Because the best way to know how to treat a woman is to read about her.

He may be a gentleman, but he doesn’t understand women. Any good man can treat women right, but you want a man who challenges you.

A man who reads understands women, their depth, their needs and their inherent gifts. You want a man who doesn’t just appease you but surprises you.

Because no matter how many places he’s been, he’s never traveled.

He may have lived all over the world, but he’s never actually explored. He’s never left his mind or met people who’ve changed the way he thinks.

Merely spending time in new places is very different than actually immersing yourself in them.

Because if he can’t finish a book, he’s not going to finish you off.

A man who doesn’t know how to finish a book isn’t going to be good at finishing most things.

He doesn’t understand what it means to start something with the intention to finish it, no matter how hard it gets in between.

It says a lot about the relationship and if he’ll be able to stick it out when the plot line gets boring or doesn’t interest him for a moment.

Because he won’t understand the value of words.

Any reader knows words aren’t just strings of letters but the most powerful force there is.

Someone who doesn’t place the same value on words as you will most likely use them wrong, throw them around without care and never acknowledge the intent in yours.

Because he’ll probably judge you by your cover.

Why date someone who doesn’t know how to value the inside more than the beautiful outside? Any non-reader can be wooed by colorful graphics and expensive binding.

Only a reader knows the best books are the ones that have been handled a few times, have scratches on the cover and most definitely have some markings.

You want to date someone who cares about the depth of the pages, not the shallow allure of the shiny binding.

Because he won’t give you closure.

If he doesn’t read, he doesn’t know how to end things properly. He’s prone to drop things in the middle, picking them up with no regard to the value and weight to it.

He won’t respect the journey or the attachment. All he will care about is if it’s still interesting to him.

Because he’s not even worth a story.

Why date someone who isn’t worth a chapter in your life? Why give him those pages? Why let him write all over you when he doesn’t appreciate good writing?

You deserve someone who will handle you with care, who will fill you with knowledge, experience and a story worthy of his markings.