Already Too Jaded: Why I Won't Date Someone More Complicated Than I Am

by Gigi Engle

If ignorance is bliss, I want my partner to be as ignorant as possible.

I’m an over-thinker. I’m a person who constantly becomes trapped inside her own head. I always expect the worst to happen regardless of the situation.

As a result, I’m constantly stricken with anxiety.

To say I’m a complicated woman would be an egregious understatement. I’m extremely jaded, overly suspicious of others’ intentions and not quick to put my faith in people. I can’t help it. I’ve always been this way.

I grew up with a pragmatic father, my head stuck between the pages of Russian novels absorbed in the written word. Moody, impossibly stubborn people shaped me.

As a result, I became a moody, impossibly stubborn person.

At the risk of sounding pretentious, being surrounded by intelligent people was a recipe for creating an over-analytical person, one who simultaneously, constantly feels the need to create.

My mind was formed into a constant storm of thoughts. It never settles, not even for a moment.

It’s not to say I’m particularly emotional. In fact, I’ve nearly always been the less sensitive person in every romantic endeavor.

And that directly correlates to my next sentiment:

I would never date someone more complicated or more intelligent than I am.

How is that for a statement? Before you sharpen the proverbial knives, allow me to explain myself; allow me to express to you what I mean when I say I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a man as intelligent as I am, please.

When I choose a partner, I recognize qualities in that person that are different, yet complementary to my own.

The men I choose are the delightfully uncomplicated. My SO is easy to read and understand. I can tell his mood by watching his physical movements and listening to the inflection in his voice.

I know when he’s stressed or when he’s hungry, when he’s tired or jubilant. He’s so wonderfully unguarded; it makes my heart swell with love for him.

I’m not saying he’s stupid. I’m not in a serious relationship with Forrest Gump. I’m just dating a person decidedly less complex than myself.

If I chose a person as critical, as sarcastic and narcissistic as I am... we’d kill each other.

I’ve found this same phenomenon among my most happily settled friends. The obvious conclusion to draw is that you’re “dating down” by dating someone who isn’t as cerebral as you are.

This just isn’t the case. The simple guys are the best guys. The simple guys make the best boyfriends.

You don’t have to worry about him.

He will be a constant in your life. The simple guys are a far cry from shady. He isn’t going around chatting up other girls or lying to you about his intentions. His intentions are pure.

When you’re the kind of person who constantly over thinks and questions the world around you, having a simple guy in your life can be comforting.

He grounds you like nothing else can. When it comes to him, you never have to worry. He’ll always be there for you.

He’s the wind beneath your wings, and he’s perfectly happy with that fact.

He will love you unconditionally.

The kind of unconditional love he provides warms you from the inside out. You admire his ability to love like that, with all of his heart.

He’ll give you every part of himself without your needing to ask for it. The way my SO gives me his devotion is so insanely sweet; it makes me fall for him all over again every single day.

I wouldn’t trade that for all the drama and misinformed opinions in the world.

His lack of common sense is beyond endearing.

It just makes you love him more. One of the cutest things about him is a charming lack of common sense. He takes the world just as he sees it. He has no need to overcomplicate things.

My SO was sick the other day and texted me to say he was going to eat fruit. Fruit on an upset stomach sounds smart. Said no one. But he was just hungry. It was so adorable. My heart was basically bursting at the seams, exploding with tenderness.

It was shocking, considering I’m not a squishy person in the least. I wanted to grab his precious face and kiss him. That’s what he has me for anyway, to guide him and point him in the right direction.

I'm there to take care of the details.

He’s prouder of you than you are of yourself.

A simple guy will look at you with more pride than you thought was possible. I’m proud of my accomplishments.

I love what I write, and I love the fact that I work in a place that spurs my creativity and nurtures my writing to help it grow. As proud as I am of myself, my boyfriend is 10 times as overjoyed.

Whenever I write something new, he reads it gleefully and tells me how much he enjoyed every word. It feels incredible to have someone think that highly of your work.

When someone loves you for not only being you, but also what you create for the world… it’s an indescribable way to love someone.

It’s next level.

You envy his childlike wonder.

If there is one thing I respect about the simple, uncomplicated person, it’s his or her childlike wonder and excitement.

I wish I could get as giddy about anything the way my boyfriend gets amped for his favorite podcast or the prospect of having chicken wings for dinner.

He sees the world in an openhearted and open-minded way that makes me feel almost feel green with envy.

He feels so deeply and enjoys things so fully. It makes me hyper aware of my jadedness.

He will always be loyal to you.

He is in awe of you. No one will ever look at you quite like he does. It’s humbling.

Sometimes you feel like you’re undeserving of a love like that when, in truth, you both deserve each other. He’s loyal to you and, in turn, you’re fiercely loyal to him.

You both protect each other because the two of you are what each other needs.

You are two halves of one happiness.