15 Ways You're Always At Fault For Being The Less Emotional Partner

by Gigi Engle

When you're not an emotional person, having healthy, balanced relationships can be challenging.

You don't know how to express your feelings with any real coherence and you don't want to talk about the deep layers of your “profound” romance. (Ick.) It's just not appealing to you.

Your partner, the more sensitive of your twosome, may find these seeming disinterests to be a problem.

Your lack of outward emotion or evident fiery passion might plant seeds of insecurity, causing him or her to be constantly in a state of emotional uproar, which only makes you all the more confused.

Your partner thinks you don't care and you don't know what you can possibly do to prove otherwise.

It isn't that you don't love this person, you do. You just don't understand why you need to be constantly up each other's butts in order to show or prove that.

You're in this relationship, aren't you? Isn't that enough validation that you, in fact, want to be with this person?

You don't like fighting and you have no patience for stupidity. You're direct.

You're not a Goddamn robot; you're just not mushy, touchy or particularly feely. You're logical and you do things with a purpose.

You think with your head and your partner thinks with his or her heart.

These are 15 things that happen when you're the less sensitive person in the relationship:

1. You're not great at expressing your emotions.

You've just never been an emotional person. You live inside your head and though you love your boyfriend or girlfriend with all your heart, you just aren't adept at expressing thoughts and feelings outwardly.

It can be difficult at times because your partner doesn't understand how you're feeling and you are clueless when it comes to reading him or her.

2. Your partner's parents think you're frigid.

You may sometimes come off as cold, which can lead to his or her family thinking you're cold and bitchy.

Your sharp, sometimes slicing sense of humor can't be masked and your lack of lovey-dovey inclination can offer a bitter impression -- especially because those closest to your boyfriend or girlfriend knows he or she is sensitive.

3. Your partner thinks you're more interested in your friends than you are in the relationship.

When you're out with your friends, you aren't all over him or her. You engage equally with both parties.

While this may seem all fine and reasonable to you, your partner gets upset because he or she believes you should be all over him or her, making sure your partner is comfortable and attending to his or her needs.

You just don't roll like that. You fend for yourself and so should everybody else.

4. Your partner always wants to talk about his or her feelings.

You just want a shot of whiskey and a nap. You would rather run a jagged piece of glass over your tongue than talk about your “feelings.” Like, give me a damn break.

5. Your partner is afraid you don't love him or her as much as your partner loves you

The love never feels equal to your partner. He or she is convinced your lack of innate sensitivity points to a lack of commitment.

Your partner gets frustrated with you for not giving the validation he or she needs, and you get frustrated you need to give that validation in the first place.

6. You never back down in a fight.

You feel like you're always fighting, but don't always know why.

The trouble is, you don't know how to back down and you absolutely refuse to say you're wrong when you're sure you're right.

Your aggressive behavior can often lead to your other half crumbling into to tears. And -- ugh -- inevitable discussions about your emotions.

7. You're very direct and you always hurt his or her feelings.

He or she doesn't understand tough love is your way of showing affection. You don't beat around the bush because your feelings just aren't easily hurt.

Your partner doesn't have the kind of confidence you have and that can be infuriating.

8. You're always the problem.

It doesn't matter what you do, somehow you're always the problem. You don't think you're acting any differently than you were yesterday, but suddenly, your boyfriend or girlfriend is upset about your behavior.

You find yourself apologizing all the time just to avoid an argument.

Most of the time, you don't think you did jack sh*t wrong, but you'd rather just say sorry than have a weepy mess on your hands... again.

9. It feels like your partner is always mad at you.

You become easily irritated at the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend always seems to be mad at you.

You live for the pockets of happiness, of calm seas, but it feels like, more often than not, you've done something to upset him or her. Walking on eggshells can be a very exhausting thing.

10. PDA makes you uncomfortable.

You don't like to be affectionate, especially around other people. It just doesn't feel natural to you. Maybe you'd like to feel relaxed kissing someone in public, but it feels weird and wrong to you.

This will leave your boyfriend or girlfriend feeling unwanted and may make he or she feel like you're embarrassed of him or her. Even though this is definitely not the case, you can't explain it in any way that's going to satisfy them.

11. You'll never be the first one to send a text.

It's not even that you don't want to, it's that if you're not together, you're likely otherwise engaged.

You might be at work or you might be out with friends, either way your partner is not constantly on the forefront of your mind. When you text someone, it has a purpose.

When you send a message, it's because you need an answer. It is cumbersome to constantly receive, “I miss you” and “What are you thinking about” texts in the middle of the day. You have sh*t to do.

12. Your partner can never get a rise out of you.

As the more sensitive person in the relationship, your partner is likely also the more passionate. He or she will want to pick fights just to get the emotional fix from you he or she desperately craves.

The problem is you never fall for this because you don't have that kind of dramatic bullsh*t in your bloodstream.

If your partner is going to start some sh*t with you, you're going to walk away and let him or her fester in it.

13. You have zero patience for petty problems.

One thing that will upset and torture you is having to listen to your boyfriend or girlfriend whine about stupid, inconsequential problems.

You don't get fazed by small events and happenings, but your partner could freak out over something his or her work husband claimed that Jenny from accounting said, which came from Bill from advertising who apparently really hated your partner's outfit. You. Just. Cannot. With. That. Sh*t.

14. You don't know how to comfort your partner.

When he or she is upset, you know you're supposed to comfort him or her, but this kind of behavior is a little baffling to you.

You don't want to be held when you're upset, so why would someone else? You're just not great with this kind of thing, so like Chandler Bing, you offer a sarcastic comment instead.

15. You express your love for your partner with sex.

To you, nothing says, "I love you and you are very attractive to me" like a good old hump session.

This is how you express how much you care about your partner, by showing him or her how much your body likes his or her body.

To your partner, physical expression like this doesn't provide enough substance, but for you, it is all you need or want.