What You Need To Know If You Can't Help But Feel Jaded After Heartbreak

by Kiana Azizian
Julia Forsman

I am ready to fall in love. I have been for about the past year.

During this past year, I've met two guys. I thought both of them could have turned out to be "the one." Turns out – just like every other relationship in my past – the timing wasn't right.

We all know timing is a massive bitch.

Soon after, both those relationships fell through. I found myself bitter and jaded.

I hated the world, and every man that existed in it.

OK. I'll admit. I still kind of do.

I found myself losing faith in love. After countless hours of crying over these guys and feeling sorry for myself, I decided to suck it up and move on. The first step was forgiving myself. Once I quit blaming myself for everything that had lead to the demise of these relationships, I was able to appreciate them for everything they had taught me.

See, that's the thing we always seem to ignore: Every person comes into our lives to serve a specific purpose. When people hurt us, we must learn from it. Then, we must let them go.

Not everyone is meant to stay around forever.

Turning cold and bitter is the easiest thing to do. Playing the victim and hating people for hurting you is normal. Trying to hurt people back is unfortunately part of our human nature. Wanting to give up on love is inevitable.

But it's a sign of beauty to gracefully move on and forgive others. Respecting someone's decision, instead of trying to hurt him or her, is a form of maturity. Believing in love again, after being completely destroyed, is true strength.

It's easy to complain about how men are such assh*les. It's easy to be upset about how all our friends have found love while we haven't.

But the truth is, bitching about how much men suck isn't going to change anything. Sitting around and moping about being single isn't going to change your status, either.

Instead of hating the “single, lonely life,” focus on creating a life that doesn't revolve around men. Find love in other places and people. Build a life for yourself, by yourself. Most importantly, start loving yourself for everything that you are.

Trust me, I'm just as much of a hopeless romantic as it gets. I love love. I always have and I always will.

But I'm done trying to make finding a man the main focus of my life. I'm tired of feeling unloved, and as if a part of me is missing because I failed to find a lasting relationship.

Just because I haven't found love from a significant other yet, that doesn't make me any less of a person. If anything, it has made me stronger.

I've learned to live life on my own. I don't need a man to be happy or to take care of me. I'm no longer wearing my status of "single woman" as a shackle.

Love is love. Who that love is coming from doesn't matter. Just because the love in my life isn't coming from a significant other, that does not decrease its value in any way.

That's the important thing. Even though I might not have faith in people anymore, I will always believe in love. I'm happy on my own, and I don't need to rely on others for validation. I am loved in more ways than one.

I have faith that my time will come soon. Until then, I'm going to keep on doing me, and trusting the timing of my journey.

I'm going to fill my life with as much love as possible. I will always believe I'm loved, whether that's with or without a man in my life.

Love is the most powerful and beautiful thing in this world. To give up on it would truly be a shame.