What It Was Really Like When My Fiancé Called Off Our Engagement
I was engaged for four months. We were in love, sharing an apartment and everything was going great, until one day he announced he didn't want to be in a relationship any longer.
I fell apart. I once thought my happily-ever-after was happening, and now I had to pack up and find somewhere crappy to live and be alone forever.
Who would I test my cooking skills on? Who would introduce me to new music and movies? I had all these negative expectations, but what happened was exactly the opposite.
Expectation: I'd cry every day and be sad forever.
Reality: I cried for about three days. In between the crying, I stared into space, in denial of what was happening.
After spending sufficient time feeling sorry for myself, I peeled my body off the couch, put on some eyeliner and went to work with a smile on my face.
When I was no longer just zoning out and letting myself feel depressed, it was a lot easier to distract myself and enjoy my life.
Expectation: I'd never find someone I loved as much. Plus, all the good ones are already taken.
Reality: My first weekend out with my friends as a “single lady,” I gave out my number to a guy I'd known for a while and always thought was cute (and a talented musician -- bonus!).
A few days later he secured dinner plans with me. I've heard other rumors swirling around that guys who I've always been friendly with are wanting to hang out with me.
I'm now feeling like not all hope is lost; I won't be forever alone. Plenty of the good ones are left for me to pick from. And if I am single forever, that's fine. I'm badass enough on my own. I don't need someone to complete me.
Expectation: I'd be sleeping on my parents' couch forever because I'm broke.
All my friends already live with their significant others, rubbing it in my face that I am now single AND doomed for all eternity to live in the creepy dungeon that is my parents' basement.
Reality: I hit up my friend who owns a house and was looking for roommates. He told me to come on over and check it out, and he gave me a cheap price for rent.
The next day I was moving my stuff in. I'm now living right in the center of all the cool neighborhoods in my city.
The house is cute, the roommates are nice and there are four cats to play with.
My roommates are way into fitness, healthy eating and art just like I am, so I actually have people to do stuff with. My dog has a backyard to run around in.
It's way better and more fun than my ex-fiancé's apartment where we sat around watching TV and doing nothing.
Expectation: I'd never be able to trust a guy again when he says he wants to be with me forever and/or presents me with a diamond ring.
Reality: I'll make sure I recommend to my future husband a ring that looks even better than my first one.
I don't understand when people say they have “trust issues,” just because one or even 10 people screwed them over. That's just life.
The reason it didn't work out with someone is because there's someone even better for you. And if there's not, just be content with being alone. It's not that bad.
You get to do whatever you want whenever you want, including giving out your number to cute guitar players and wearing that sweater your significant other always hated.
The harsh truth is some guys (and girls) are just a-holes, and we're going to have to deal with that our whole lives.
Expectation: I'd exist in a haze of depression for months, dipping pretzels into cheese dip and watching daytime TV.
Reality: I got productive. I joined a yoga studio in my trendy new neighborhood, I started using my gym membership and I opened an Etsy shop to sell my artwork.
My blog is getting more likes and followers than ever because now I actually have time to work on it, instead of trying to hold my relationship together long enough for it to end in marriage.
Long story short, when I got dumped I felt the worst I'd ever felt in my life.
I didn't even want to go to work because I'd have to tell people that I failed at making a relationship work and I was no longer having a wedding.
But after allowing myself a few days to feel sad, I got my butt out of the house and started focusing on the most important person in my life: me.