No Rules, No Regrets: Why There's No Blueprint To Falling In Love
Love: It’s that illusive little word, dissected time and time again, and then conveniently shoved into the four corners of a very stereotypical little box.
Despite the fact that we are habit-forming creatures, life is unpredictable. We’re spinning around an orbit somewhere in space where anything is possible. So why should the process of falling in love with someone be any different?
We are often told many crazy things about love, like "don’t show him you like him," "don’t show too much enthusiasm" or "don’t sleep with each other immediately." We see it all the time, in pop culture, in literature and in everyday existence.
People are playing games with one another like orchestrated puppets because we’re all too petrified that if we become immersed in the natural process of falling for someone, we’ll get hurt.
Yes, a large amount of the time, we do fall for the wrong people, but think about the first time you fell in love. Hopefully it’s a very vivid memory that contains all the innocence and ignorance of childhood romance.
You weren’t desperately dissecting every article you read on playing hard-to-get because you weren’t following the social conditioning of behavior. Hopefully, you were expressing uninhibited passion for another person because at this point in your life, you didn’t have anything to lose.
The concept of a broken heart was simply that: a concept.
I agree that falling in love without inhibitions is the easiest way to end up neck-deep in a very complicated abyss of emotions, and if you throw caution to the wind with everyone, you may as well be playing with fire.
However, if you feel the need to consult a list of rules before you decide to embark on something real with someone, maybe you should consider the following non-rules:
Some Of Your Best Dates Are Completely Spontaneous
Think back over some of the best moments you’ve shared with another human being. They probably occurred because you weren’t immersed inside your own thoughts and fears. You were completely absorbed in another person and for a few hours; wasn’t that nice?
Self-Expression Is Liberating
So what if you’ve got a goofy smile? Laugh till it hurts and be playful. What’s the point of getting to know someone if you never allow him or her to see the most human parts of your personality?
We put so much emphasis on being mysterious and using seduction tactics to woo someone. While being somewhat mysterious is sexy, seeing a person in his or her happiest element and being enthusiastic about the things that make him or her happy is about as beautiful as it gets.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
We walk around stuck in this place between internal diatribe and the past. We cynically taint promising encounters with people we barely know because of something that happened three years ago.
Yes, stereotypes exist for a reason, and yes, maybe this time Richard is just like the three assh*les you fell for year after year.
But maybe he’s not. Why put up those walls when he could potentially be a genuinely nice person?
Life Is Finite
We are designed in such a way that life enables us to go on every day without being constantly reminded that we’re going to die, but we have enough mental capacity to remember that it’s going to happen.
Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in five years, but at some point, none of this is going to be relevant, so why be so afraid of what you do today?
Dating and falling in love isn’t a Hollywood romance, but it’s not a horrific minefield, either. Put the book away, close this article and go and show your date how cute you look in those pajamas without any makeup on.
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