Not Marriage Material: 4 Reasons I'm Addicted To The Single Life
My name is Prashanthi Musapet, and I’m here today because I’m addicted to being single.
I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Dad.
Nope, your little girl is not dreaming of exchanging vows with her Prince Charming in an elaborate ceremony, with all our friends and family watching.
The funny thing is, growing up, this is all I'd ever wanted. I shared many young girls' dreams of one day becoming the picture-perfect housewife and soccer mom.
My life would follow the stereotypical schedule: Find my soulmate in college. Get married right after college.
One year later, live in an adorable house in the suburbs. Somewhere down the line, give birth to the cutest little boy and girl on the planet.
So the story goes.
But as time went on, I kept pushing that dream further and further away.
Maybe in the next year or two. Maybe when I’m 30.
Then, it finally dawned on me: I didn’t want any of it to come true.
That’s when I realized -- wait for it -- I’m not marriage material.
Here are four reasons that pretty much sum up why:
1. I’m not ready to give up “me” yet.
When you get married, “me” automatically becomes “we:" “We can’t make it this weekend” or “we’re considering buying a new couch.”
Yeah. No thanks.
I only want my favorite shows on the DVR.
I'm not willing to share the leftovers from my favorite restaurant the next day.
Plus, I want to be able to make a rash, split-second decision on my own. I want to splurge on a way-too-expensive food processor I’ll never use, only to regret it later.
Most people can agree marriage relies on compromise in order to be successful.
So if you're not the type of person willing to make sacrifices, you probably shouldn’t be walking down the aisle any time soon.
2. I can't commit to the long-term on anything.
Whether it’s a new job, place to live, hobby or relationship, I’m all in for a couple of years (three max).
After that, I’m running for the door, ready for the next adventure.
Unfortunately, my passion for most things comes with a limited warranty.
I love the experiences new things bring, but when the “new” wears out, I check out.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a Gemini and we tend to get bored easily, or if it’s just that I’m addicted to the adrenaline of new experiences.
The same goes for my relationships with men.
"The honeymoon period" is so euphoric.
He’s so amazing. He’s all I think about. I can’t wait to see him again.
Eventually, all that euphoria turns into "He’s kind of annoying."
"God, he's so moody. I’m feeling smothered. Get me out of here."
3. I want to have my cake and eat it too.
Example: You go shopping, and you’re interested in two pairs of jeans.
You pay for one, only to immediately regret your decision once you leave the store.
Can you imagine having buyer’s remorse with the person you've promised to stay with until you die?
That could be a really, really long time.
One day, you’re into the bad boy with the tattoo sleeves and a motorcycle.
The next day, it’s all about the socially-awkward nerd with big ambitions and a solid 401 (k).
There are too many options to settle down.
They say variety is the spice of life, and I like things really spicy.
4. My bucket list doesn’t include a plus one.
What if I finally get my dream job and have to move across the country tomorrow?
What if said dream job turns out to be a nightmare, and I decide to peace out so I can travel around the world and settle in Ireland?
Oh, wait. I can.
Decisions like these pretty much affect me and only me.
Right now, I’m just responsible for myself, so I can leave everything at the drop of a hat without impacting anyone else’s future.
Everyone I've talked to seems to be only interested in eventually finding a life partner.
It got me thinking, "Am I alone in the desire to fly solo for the foreseeable future?"
I turned to licensed psychotherapist, Denise Limongello, LMSW for answers:
Not everyone is equipped for marriage or life partnership. Most people, however, do seek a long-term, if not a life-long, companion. So those who do not wish to marry could be considered the minority. The decision, however, does not directly correlate to age, but rather to personal preference and to gender. Studies indicate that most individuals who do not seek a life partner or marriage are typically males.
So maybe I'm in the minority, but for now, I'm enjoying and embracing the single life.
My attitude, though, may change in the next 15 years, when the thought of being a cat lady doesn't seem as appealing.