Contrary to the popular belief that, “Love conquers all,” sometimes it just doesn't hold up in reality.
I don’t mean to sound like a bitter, anti-love pessimist, but the harsh truth of the matter is, sometimes, love just isn't enough to sustain a successful relationship.
I have been in love; I believe in love. When it’s there, I will hold onto it and fight for it as long as humanly possible, but, as another popular saying goes, “If you love somebody, set them free.”
There are countless reasons for a failed relationship or a failed marriage, but that’s not to say love was never there at all.
Like rubber bands, relationships have a certain degree of resilience: They can always bounce back to their original shape, but if you keep pulling, they will eventually wear and break.
Love has no reason or rationale. Often, people fall in love with others who are completely wrong for them, but that doesn't stop us from trying, anyway.
This is similar to how young girls are taught to believe love is like a fairytale, which is a complete distortion from the truth.
The truth is relationships aren't as pretty on the inside as they may seem on the outside. And, it only gets harder as we grow older because other responsibilities begin to take precedence.
Life decisions become more complicated, and it becomes more difficult to incorporate another person into our busy lives. This often leads to one or both parties growing apart, instead of together.
Love undoubtedly needs to be present in order to sustain a relationship; however, we often forget another piece of the equation: effort.
Many people don’t want to hear or admit that relationships require hard work. But, they do. Relationships require a lot of hard work and effort. Just talk to any married couple who has been together for a significant amount of time.
If love and marriage were easy, everyone would be married, and divorce rates would be significantly lower. But, keep in mind that nothing worth having ever comes easily.
In order for love to survive and thrive, it also requires a substantial amount of effort from both parties. Once that effort begins to diminish, it’s time for someone to start doing something about it.
Still, breakups are tough. They often leave us with nothing but memories and questions about what exactly went wrong. The realization is, somewhere along the line, someone stopped trying.
If only love were as simple as just being with someone and enjoying his or her presence, everyone would dive into it with open arms. But, over time, the more heartaches we experience from failed relationships, the more we are hesitant to position ourselves in such situations once again.
I’m fortunate and grateful to have had grandparents who were married for nearly 60 years. I’m even more grateful to have parents who have been married for well over 30 years. They give me hope and serve as examples for the kind of relationship I one day wish to have, “until death do us part.”
I asked my parents, “How have you made your marriage last this long?” My dad responded, “Understanding. You have to understand each other”
Understanding is the part that requires the most effort. Most of us often have a hard time putting ourselves in someone’s shoes. However, when there is understanding, there is a certain peace that comes along with it.
Maybe, if we tried a little more to understand one another, relationships wouldn't be so hard.