Lies We Tell Ourselves To Feel Better About Breadcrumbing
First, there was "ghosting" to describe the guy you were dating who just falls off the face of the earth without any notice.
Now, there's "breadcrumbing" to describe the guy (or girl) who gives you just enough attention to keep you hanging on.
You know what I'm talking about.
Every time you think you're ready to move on completely, this guy waltzes back into your life (after days, weeks or months of radio silence) with a "miss u" text and you're right back at square one.
What he does is arguably worse than ghosting because he plays the ULTIMATE mind game.
But, you see, the fact of the matter is that he does not care about you. Like at all. And if you were looking at this situation from an objective point of view, you'd be able to see that.
By giving you just that small minuscule amount of his attention, he feeds into your creation of a million and one lies you make up to convince yourself that he really DOES love you.
What lies, you ask? Well, here are 17 of them:
1. "He's been slammed at work."
SO slammed that he had to completely ignore you for three months straight until he found the time to send that super time-consuming "miss u" a couple hours ago?
2. "He's been out of town."
Where has he been that he had literally no means of communicating with you? Please, enlighten me.
3. Literally any form of "he's been busy."
If he actually liked you, I guarantee he'd make the time for you. Even if it was just one quick text a day to remind you he's thinking about you.
If you haven't heard from this guy for days or weeks or months because he's been "busy," odds are you're just irrelevant to him.
4. "He's not hooking up with me, so he's obviously not hooking up with anyone else."
No. He's not hooking up with you because he's hooking up with someone else.
5. "He talks to me too much to be hooking up with other girls."
It's called multitasking.
6. "He'd be so sad if I hooked up with someone else."
He might be trying to prove to himself that he can still get you to boost his own ego, but will he be deeply hurt by it? No.
7. "He's trying to move on from me but he just can't."
This is NOT why he's texting you. You are NOT his kryptonite. You're his Plan B, and he wants to keep you around for his own comfort.
You're his Plan B, and he wants to keep you around for his own comfort.
If he thinks you're moving on, he'll give you a little bit of attention to get you back on the hook and then go back to living his life sans you.
8. "He's playing it cool."
I think we can all agree you two are beyond that phase.
9. "He wants to end up with me at the end of the day."
You're not dessert. He's not "saving you" for later. If he wanted you as part of his future, you'd be part of his present.
If he wanted you as part of his future, you'd be part of his present.
10. "He wants this to go somewhere."
What concrete action has he taken to back up that statement? I'll wait.
11. "He hasn't talked to me in a while because he's mad at me."
He does not care about you enough to be mad at you. Stop fooling yourself.
12. "He still cares about me as a friend."
Even if you started off as friends, that relationship ended the minute you boned him and he started communicating with you sporadically whenever it was convenient for him.
13. "He's nervous to go all in."
OR he just doesn't want to go all in.
14. "He missed me."
Nope. He was just bored.
15. "He's emotionally wounded from his last relationship."
Let's say he is (helpful hint: he's probably not). The fact that he's wounded has nothing to do with you, except that it's going to guarantee he will never actually love you the way you love him.
16. "He's waiting for me to make the first move."
Yeah, because he knows you'll make it.
17. "He loves me."
No, he really, really doesn't. Like at all.
I know I was a little harsh there, but YOU NEEDED TO HEAR IT.
Now move on and find a boy who actually loves you. PLEASE, you deserve it.