A Letter To My Future Son: Don't Let One Girl Ruin Every Other Girl For You

by Samantha Lebbos

It's the first date. Could you be any more nervous?

As you pace around your room trying to find the perfect outfit, packing on the cologne and practicing what you’ll say in front of the mirror, you hope this one date will turn the girl into your girlfriend.

You take one big, deep breath, look in the mirror one last time, grab some money from your father and head out to pick her up. Although you're feeling nervous and excited at the same time, you’re mostly just happy she agreed to a date.

You pull up to her place, knock on the door like a true gentleman and introduce yourself to her parents. You better listen when they give you both rules about what time she needs to be home; their daughter is in your hands.

Feel accomplished and don’t take your responsibility for granted; gaining trust is hard and losing trust is easy. Gaining that trust back is nearly impossible.

As you both start the night off with laughs and conversations about your teachers, you innocently have the best time of your lives. Nothing else matters at this point; you are both on the same page.

There's no rush now, like there is when you are just saying “hi” passing by in the school hallway. As you are still naive, you convince yourself that this is the girl you want to marry.

Oh, young love, it’s a beautiful thing when you’re caught up in the moment. I won’t sugarcoat it for you: Everything falls apart if you don’t both put in the effort. Young love is a time to explore and you two might not be on the same wavelength for as long as you’d like.

In the midst of it all a couple weeks later, the love turns to hate; you wonder when it happened. She’s moved on. Her heart latched on to someone else. But that’s how people are; they move on, and sadly, you’re the one left heartbroken.

I can see it when you walk through the door from school, and when you go straight to your room and give me one-word answers after I ask, “How was your day?”

When did your heartache take over your entire life? As your mom, I can assuredly say that there is a silver lining. Heartbreaks never last; take my word for it.

That nauseating feeling at the pit of your stomach that keeps you up at night is brutal, I know. I’m older and more experienced with this crap, I promise. It’s the memories that make the pain so much worse. Those memories are engraved in your brain and only time can heal it all.

Eventually you’ll mature, go to college and move on. You’ll meet plenty of ladies out and about while at sporting events or the bar (don't forget the legal drinking age is 21).

Between all of the emotions you felt with your very first love, I need you to understand one thing: I never want you to lose the confidence you had on that very first date.

You know those exciting jitters you had before your first kiss, and that effort you made to stay up all night and talk on the phone even if you were tired? I want you to have those before every date you go on because when you meet the right girl and those same feelings happen every time you see her, you’ll know she’s the one. Those feelings won’t fade like they did with the wrong girls who broke your heart.

Don’t let one heartbreak give you the same perception of every girl. Don’t bring the baggage from the last relationship to the next one because it’s just not fair. No, not every girl is the same; don’t ever say that.

Everyone has his or her one true person; you just haven’t found yours yet. Please, don’t become an assh*le. Don’t be that one person who doesn’t open the door and pick up the check. Please, don’t lay your finger on a girl unless you are hugging her or kissing her or -- when you find your true love, of course -- undressing her.

Please, don’t be that boy who takes her choice of wanting to take it slow as an insult. Take it slow; you're still so young. Most importantly, choose wisely. Don’t sleep with every girl you get the chance to sleep with because when you’re mature and you find someone you really want to be with, your past matters.

When you go through all of these heartbreaks, you will always get back on your feet and grow stronger as a person. With every struggle, you will learn more about yourself.

You’ll realize that when you find your true love, get married and have a family, you will pass all of this advice along to your son. Looking on the other side, you’ll also want the same exact thing for your daughter. Above all, in the end, you’ll finally understand the difference between being a boy and being a man.

Love you forevaaa and evvaaaa,

The Number One Woman In Your Life (aka, your mom)

P.S. Don't forget you are babysiting tomorrow night; your dad and I are going on a date. XO