The Last Thing You Should Do In Your 20s Is Try To Find 'The One'
Being a woman in the world is a hard thing to be, especially in the love realm. Women are feeling the pressure to find someone and settle down almost constantly.
“Go off and find 'the one.'”
“The right person will come along when you least expect it. Just keep looking.”
“You have time, but not too much time.”
“Don't you get sad going places alone?”
For some reason, a generation of young women who are supposed to have fabulous jobs, enviable social lives and solid relationships with their families are still expected to find a significant other who will “complete them.”
I'm calling bullshit on this fantasy because it's actually a nightmare sometimes.
Look, I love "The Notebook," too. I love that Drake has been in love with Rihanna since he was 22 years old. I love that we try to make love iconic, not ironic.
What we don't say enough is, we can be “the one” for ourselves.
Why do we need to spend our entire young adult lives waiting for our own personal Drake, the perfect knight in shining armor, when we can actually be everything that we need? Why would we wait around when we are our own perfect match?
We all focus on finding the nice guy, the one good egg. Then, when we suffer through a string of lackluster guys, we try to dissect all of the reasons that we attracted them in the first place.
We sit on the couch with our friends and our glasses of wine, saying, "What did I do? Why do these types of men want me? What am I doing wrong? How do I fix myself?"
Nothing. No reason. Not a thing. You're just fine the way you are right now.
We aren't doing anything wrong. Things happen, people come and go and relationship begin and end.
We're not weak or worthless because we can't find solace in another person. What we are doing wrong is relying on finding someone to complete us in the first place.
Ladies, we are already complete.
Guess what? We can love ourselves, too.
This isn't to say that all relationships are awful and eternally doomed. We may not always be dancing to "Single Ladies" at weddings. However, we can be the singular reason that we feel whole, fulfilled, alive and full of promise.
Regardless of anything, we can guide our own fate.
While others wait around, feeling lost in their singleness and monitoring their traits the way they count their calories, go out live your fucking life.
Dance hard, drink often, laugh loud, be bold, charge forward in your career, take chances and do the risky things that make stories worth telling.
Feel like shit, and comfort yourself. Support yourself. Guide your actions. Make mistakes, and fix them.
Try every day to make being in your own skin the most comfortable place to live. You don't need someone to take care of you. You can take care of yourself. And guess what?
It feels awesome.