Ladies, You Have Been Warned: A Breakdown Of Men Who Seek Mistresses
There are three types of cheating men who seek mistresses. Use this information to examine a guy more critically, to categorize who he is and what his intentions may be before you enter into a potentially awful situation.
The Dodgy Boyfriend
You had no idea that he’s actually involved with another woman. This guy can be quite scary — if he’s hiding his identity from you, imagine all of the things he’s capable of hiding. Imagine the other woman.
Unfortunately, it’s tough to spot this guy, especially if he’s good at covering his tracks (he probably is). If you’re worried that your guy seems like a dodgy boyfriend, it might be a good idea to do some spying, but tread lightly, because if you’re wrong, you become the “bad guy.”
This guy is the compulsive liar. Of course, all cheaters lie and spew bullsh*t, but this guy takes it to a whole new level. He’s not really a player, but probably the guy who didn’t get much action during his younger days. Now that he’s hit a certain age, he has some degree of knowledge about the female psyche, so he thinks he can (and sometimes manages to) weasel himself into your bed.
He’s neither a straight-up player nor a straight-up liar, so he’s likely to try the worst [and potentially most emotionally devastating] lines ever. He’ll tell you his [real] relationship has gone to sh*t but that he can’t leave her because [insert bullsh*t here]. He will tell you that he has feelings for you, that he doesn’t know what to do, that he’s so confused. At some point, if he thinks there’s a chance he may lose you, he’ll tell you he’s going to leave his wife, but it’s a lie.
It’s important to understand that the straight-up liar (dodgy boyfriend) will keep you ignorant to the truth by keeping his main relationship a secret while the weasel will be forthright with the truth from the beginning, but will spare no emotional trauma to get a girl in bed.
The Real Player
As any player will tell you, being with one woman is fine and dandy, but eventually, the curiosity regarding the evolution of females during time elapsed in a committed relationship will grow to be overwhelming. This guy is charming and tends to be great with women, so scoring takes only a small exertion of effort.
This guy will likely sleep you with you and then let you know about his committed relationship. This strategy works in his favor because you’ll probably have an amazing time until he drops the bomb. Afterward, it’s your choice to continue in an affair or to call it quits, but the guy doesn't care either way: he already won.
Some women tragically think that they can turn a real player into a decent man — maybe a boyfriend — but it won’t happen. This guy won’t tell you that he has serious feelings for you; he will be cold as ice and you’ll be head over heels for him.
There are three steadfast rules when it comes to these types of men, and don't kid yourself otherwise:
He Will Never Leave His Committed Relationship
This rule stands true for the majority of cheating men out there. The few cases in which a man will leave a committed relationship for his mistress are likely to involve him getting caught. Maybe you’ve heard a story about your friend’s second cousin’s best friend who is now happily married to a man who left his wife for her. If you don’t know her, it’s probably a lie.
Again, most cheaters will not leave their wives or serious girlfriends for a mistress: he’s probably been with enough women to know exactly what he wants and he’s proved that he can get that without complicating his established, complete life. If you’re with a real player, you’ll probably be nothing more than his “something on the side.”
If He Does Leave, You Will Never Be Happy
Unfortunately, even if he does leave her for you, you will never be happy. Eventually, you’ll start to wonder if he’s found a new mistress and if he may leave you for her. The pressure, worry, misery and doubt will never be worth it. He’s probably always going to be a cheater.
The Bottom Line
If you sense that you may become a mistress, just don’t do it. You will never be completely happy with any of these men, because you will never be able to trust them.
Visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com to throw out the “dating rulebook” in favor of more direct and fruitful methods for succeeding with a man.
Photo credit: CW/Gossip Girl